XMAS EXTRAVAGANZA

This year our family is staying home for the holidays. Instead of spending thousands of dollars to fly on over-crowded flights, get served soda from pissed-off stewardesses... oh, excuse me, flight attendants (cue The Replacement's Waitress In The Sky here), shuttle from one relative's home to the next and struggle to transport forty pounds of $20 gifts home, we're going to enjoy a nice meal with good friends, pop in Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer for the kids and get a nice gentle buzz on with some good wine.

I'm hoping my wife enjoys this so much we never have to travel for the holidays again... but I have a feeling the calls from siblings and parents will mean next year we'll be cramming into an overstuffed 747 and heading westward. Ah, well, I'm going to enjoy this while I can. For the rest of you... a plethora of holiday links to take you away from the tinsel-tinged torment of Christmas planning.

HAPPY CHRISMAKAWANZAA!!!!

"Oh, you better watch out. You better not shout. You better not cry, I'm telling you why! Cthulhu is coming to town..."

Myrrh? Check! Gold? Check! Frankincense? Uhhh....

Secret Santa or Chronic Kringle?

Profane Christmas mash ups. The alternate ending to A Charlie Brown Xmas is particularly brilliant.

A Christmas Gory.

The Christmas Myth. Or how I got a PhD in Bah-Humbug!

Yet another childhood Yuletide trauma.

A Charlie Brown Christmas - Performed by the Cast of Scrubs

Can't figure out what holiday movie to rent? Here are 100 suggestions. My personal recommendation is a triple feature of Die Hard, Black Christmas and Silent Night, Deadly Night.

For the pretentious artist relative who has everything.

Nothing says "I love you" like a BB Gun.

Gingerbread house design inspired by George W Bush and Co.

How to Make a really cool 3D Paper Snowflake.

How to Make Your Christmas Lights Flash to Music.

NORAD tracks Santa... but the TSA still won't let him bring shampoo and toothpaste on board.

And for our friends of the Jewish persuasion... Sarah Silverman's Give the Jew Girl Toys .