HILLARY'S SONG

So, Hillary Clinton (who I sincerely hope doesn't win the Democratic nomination) has picked 'When The Lady Smiles' by Golden Earring as her campaign song, playing it at rallies. The chorus goes...

"When the lady smiles,
I can't resist her call,
As a matter of fact,
I don't resist at all."

I can see why they were drawn to it. Although IMO it sounds vaguely Orwellian. What they didn't seem to realize is that the lyrics continue to say...

When the lady smiles, you know it drives me wild,
Her lips are warm and resourceful
My friends tell me, she's the beast inside your paradise."

Christian fundamentalists should have a field day with that one.

What is it with politicians? They pick songs for a snippet of lyric here or there but understand nothing of context. It really makes you question they're ability to legislate. Doesn't nuance matter?

Hillary's choice makes about as much as sense as Reagan's use of Springsteen's "Born In The USA" --a criticism of the country's involvement in Vietnam, the poor treatment of its soldiers, and the hopelessness of its veterans.

To make matters worse, here's the video for Golden Earring's charming little ditty... sexual assault on a nun intact.




Full disclosure: I was obsessed with Golden Earring's "Twilight Zone" and "Radar Love" as a teen.

I LOVE HALF LIFE

The geek in me sometimes comes roaring back.

Half-Life is a first-person shooter video game and, man, I was addicted. Anyway, the game has fansites where devotees of the game write their own fiction using game characters, situations and settings. No, I've never been to one of these sites. I can be geeky but I'm pretty far from pathetic. I've actually kissed a girl. Heck, I even married one.

Anyway, here is a terrific video created to illustrate a 9 year-old's Half-Life fan fiction.

Want a taste before you commit? Here's an excerpt from this brilliantly written story:

"Here John Freeman saw the first monster because the cop was posessed and had headcrabs. "I cant give you my lisense officer" John Freeman said "Why not?" said the headcrab oficer back to John Freeman. "Because you are headcrab zombie" so John Freeman shot the oficer in the head and drove off thinking "my brother is in trouble there" and went faster."

I HATE GUM

Always have. Always will. I hate finding it under benches and tables. I hate stepping in it on a hot summer sidewalk. I hate the sickly pink, nauseated green or diseased white/gray look of it. I've only ever had it in my mouth once (I tried it once when I was eight) and judging from my son's aversion to it, my distaste must be genetic.

So, in celebration of this thing I so casually despise I bring you chewing gum sculptures. Check out the site here.

YOU WOULDN'T LIKE ME WHEN I'M ANGRY...

A list of sites that offer completely useful (but ever-so amusing) information.

1- Every reason why David Banner turned into Lou Ferigno...er... the Hulk.

2- The Gay Bomb and other weird science stuff you don't know about.

3- Shoot paintballs at the presidential candidates here. I played as John Edwards (my candidate of choice) and kicked all their asses. Of course, the game was made before Huckabee rose in the polls so maybe version 2.0 will present more of a challenge.

4- Ten sodas that no longer exist. You must be REALLY bored to click this link.

5- Interested in buying the worst wax sculptures in the world? Today's your luck day.

BECAUSE

I really have no justification for liking this short film. I just do. It's not particularly unique but it is effective.

Happy Anniversary

SHADOW PUPPETS

As a kid I'd spend hours on end in my bed (when I supposed to be sleeping) listening on the transistor radio to CBS Mystery Theater while practicing shadow puppets on my ceiling with a flashlight. I got pretty good but, man-oh-man, nothing like this guy. Check it out. It's quite wonderful...

Eight Percent of My Love

God, if chicks only understood. A man's only got so much love to give.

(Sorry about the quality. It was the best I could find.)