SORE LOSER

Thanks, Jeff!

SPEAK OF THE DEVIL...

...And the Devil appears. Jeff S just sent me this ... okay, there's no way around it... messed up video of some Japanese TV show. As he mentioned in his email, we are undoubtedly missing some nuance of Japanese culture.

The video gives a whole new meaning to the term "banana sling."

Listen for the 'thump' as the female judge laughs so hard she smacks her head on the table.

FOR AN AUDIENCE OF ONE

This post is for my buddy Jeff Sherwood (who has provided this site some awesome links). I don't know why when I hear Rosicrucions I think Jeff. But I do. I like to think of them as an ancient order of D&D geeks.

This site is for him.

FASHION POST

To paraphrase someone: I don't know good fashion when I see it, but I know what I like.

And I really really like this silver ring made from a real octopus tentacle.

Check out the site. They sell very cool stuff.

However, this ring kinda disturbs me.

Like in an icky not-cool way. It's a replica of the AIDS virus in jewelry form.

I guess nothing says "I love you" like a bejewelled sexually transmitted disease.

OKAY, THIS IS JUST CREEPY

I love The Simpsons. Or, at least, I did love The Simpsons once upon a time (Seasons 3-7). Now, I just sorta like them. But this... this is gonna give me nightmares. I know it.

CONGRATULATIONS MR. VALEDICTORIAN! NOW LEAVE.

Ah, yes, our ever-so humane immigration policies strike again.

This wouldn't have happened if congress had passed the DREAM Act, which would have provided high-achieving high school students who are long-term illegal immigrants, and who wish to serve in the armed forces or attend college to be able to gain legal status.

Oh, wait, it did pass it. But see, 44 Republicans --you know the same Republicans who threatened to end the filibuster-- threatened to filibuster this modestly sane piece of legislation. And so the act went nowhere.

If you think shipping people who have been here since they were infants back to 'where they came from' is sound government policy... well, there's a word for you. It sounds kinda like snapperhead.

Oh wait, it is snapperhead.

HOW WE WENT FROM $22 TO $130 FOR A BARREL OF OIL IN EIGHT YEARS

Well, the simple answer would be Bush/Cheney. I mean, are people really shocked that oil prices have skyrocketed after two corrupt oil men were put into presidential power? You'd have to be blind and brain dead not to see that one coming. Dubya was worth $10 million dollars when he took office. Today he's worth $100 million. Surprise, surprise, surprise.

Anyway, this guy compares our energy policies to Seinfeld's George Costanza. The premise is that when given the choice between two options, George always chose the one with the worst possible outcome. It's a pretty good list of how Constanza-like our country is.

OKAY, HOW ABOUT A LITTLE TEXAS INSANITY FOR A CHANGE

Seems, Houston has solved all its criminal prolems and has moved onto some really serious issues --namely, enforcing their police department's "no beard" policy.

Four black officers filed a federal civil rights lawsuit against the city last November, claiming discrimination because shaving exacerbates a skin condition that disproportionately affects black men.

Pseudofolliculitis barbae is a dermatological condition common among men with thick and curly facial hair. Shaving can cause irritating rashes, ingrown hairs, bleeding and
scarring. Officers with beards are barred from wearing the Houston Police Department uniform. The officers who filed suit were reassigned to plainclothes
jobs.

Read the rest here.

LIFE IN FLORIDA'S CONDO LAND

Most of its what you'd expect. But this one is chock full of Sunshine State goodness.

If you think these rules are silly or extreme, consider a deed-restricted development in Jasper County, near Hilton Head, S.C. In 1998 a developer bought 1,700 acres, a property called Delta Plantation, to subdivide for homes. The official covenants, as recorded in the county auditor's office, say the property may never be sold or leased "to any person or entity that may be described as being part of the Yankee race."

REASON #1026 NOT TO MOVE TO FLORIDA

The Sons of Confederate Veterans wants drivers in the Tampa area to see the massive flag — 30 feet high and 50 feet long — atop a 139-foot pole, the highest the Federal Aviation Authority would allow. It would be lit at night.

Read rest of the travesty... er ... article here

MORE FLORIDA GOODNESS

So, you may wonder why I smash on the Sunshine State. After all it is my native land. Yup, I was born in Miami.

Well, other than the fact that I blame Florida for giving us the neverending horrorshow that is George W. Bush, they are place that profoundly baffles and disturbs me. Is it the endless strip malls? Substandard housing that gets creamed by hurricanes over and over again? Independent state of Disney? Bizarre police-state communities that enforce lawn lengths, house colors and prohibit children? --Which is not only evil in my book but flies in the face of what America stands for.

Well, yeah, I guess it could be those things. But mostly it's that they generate so much f*#cked up news.

Enjoy this new classic...

Florida mother jailed for caging son

WE ARE THE WORLD

As performed by Japanese celebrity impersonators. Just brilliant.