BEEN A LONG TIME SINCE I ROCK & ROLLED

As an editor I always hate when my writers give me an excuse for why they blew their deadline. I'm sure there are many legitimate reasons for why they couldn't deliver on their professional promise but the truth is, I don't want to hear 'em. I just want the work in when it's due because if it's not it means more work for me.

So, I'm not going to offer up any lame excuses for my absence these past two weeks... except to say, "it's all George Bush's fault." I mean, he's screwing up everything else in this country (and a few others to boot) so why not my blog? That son-of-a-bitch has always had it out for me.

Anyway, to properly express my depression and rage I offer up this brilliant distillation of pain and suffering.

I always knew it wasn't easy being green but I had no idea how much it Hurt.

FAUX NEWS

1. Biting the hand that feeds...






2. Even in another language the humor still comes through.
3. Cheney gets loaded and unloads on his buddy.
4. Colbert vs O'Reilly




5. Jon Stewart on The O'Reilly

BULLSH%T!

So, Penn & Teller have this series on Showtime where they go around debunking notions of 'common wisdom' and self-righteous positioning. Occassionally, they just smash on stuff they think is just plain stupid, like near-death visions, etc. Even if you bristle at their forays into liberal cause bashing (getting hippies to sign a petition banning water is particularly amusing) the show is informative and entertaining as hell. Here are a few choice segments...




PETA unmasked...





The Drug War (pt1)




pt 2, pt 3

THE MEDIA AMINS




DON'T BE NIT-PICKY




AH, WHEN CHILDREN'S SHOWS WERE FREE OF SEXUAL INNUENDO

"...like a bunch of commies high on potato juice."

Okay, this is pretty cool. Conan O'Brien and Andy Richter have developed a new sitcom for NBC about a straight-laced accountant who accidentally falls into the seedy underworld of private investigation. Now, I've always been a fan of Richter, ever since he used to perform in the Brady Show at Chicago's Annoyance Theater many years ago. He was Conan's side-kick for many years and a damn funny guy who's never quite gotten his due. FOX gave him a show a few years back and I'll never forget the episode where he finally gets the really hot chick at work to date him only to find out she's a rabid Anti-Semite.

Anyway, NBC has put up the first six episodes on the web for your viewing pleasure. I watched the first two and though it takes a little while to find its rhythm I found myself laughing out loud a more than a few times. I was also impressed by the cleverness of the scripts. It really makes the most of its 22 minutes. Check it out.

http://www.nbc.com/Video/rewind/full_episodes/andybarker.shtml?show=andybarker01

VADERAMA!

God, I was such a Star Wars geek as a kid. The film opened when I was 12, only days after my birthday, and I spent half the summer blowing my allowance on screenings (13 times in two and a half months) and action figures. About 10 years ago my sister sold off all my original (and pristine) Star Wars toys at a garage sale for pennies on the dollar. It still hurts my stomach to think of the thousands of dollars I could have put toward something like, oh I don't know, my kid's college education. I picture the comic book store owner from The Simpsons drooling over the 10 cent per figure box and then haggling my sister down to $5 for the entire collection. Here are just a few of the items I had (some in their boxes)... 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6. That's nearly $1200... and I'm ashamed I had a whole helluva lot more.

Anyway, I recently watched the first movie with my (almost) five year old son, Nate, and while he loved it, I found the first half pretty draggy. Once they got on board the Deathstar, however, the film was a real blast.

The trilogy of prequels that Lucas put out over the past decade can only be described as unadulterated crap. Comedian Brian Posehn compared Phantom Menace to being molested by your uncle while you're an adult. I couldn't agree more (wish I could find a clip).

Anyway, in celebration of the ultimate asthmatic villain rustedeye offers up these delectable Darth links:

1. Darth is a dick.


2. Japanese Darth Vader comedy sketch


3. Tom Cruise IS the evil Emporer


4. Jimmy Fallon as Anakin Skywalker (aka Darth Vader)


5. My favorite Vader parody (a repeat)


6. The Vader Sessions

THIS WEEK'S FUNNIES

After all these years Letterman still manages to be funny and relevant.




...and more from the ever-reliable Jon Stewart

LIFE IS JUST A BUNCH OF RANDOM
STUFF THAT HAPPENS

...and so are today's links. Enjoy!

1. The history of condoms... but you'll have to ask the guy behind the counter.



2. Buckingham Palace Marching Band plays Darth Vader's theme.



3. How well do you know Europe? Post your scores in the comment section. I got a 79.



4. Amazing photos of Easter Island.



5. The State Of The Union Address and 71 year-old John McCain is there!



6. Karate chop for Christ!



7. Terrorist sympathizer Andy Griffith rails against Patriot Act.



8. The Biology of B-Movie Monsters.



9. Polly wants to know why you're so stupid.



10. Amish Heat.