IT'S NOT GOTCHA JOURNALISM. IT'S JUST THAT YOU'RE A CORRUPT RIGHTWING KOOK WHO'S RIDICULOUSLY UNQUALIFIED

More Sarah Palin morsels of inanity. Remember it took her 5 universities to finally earn her BA in Communications from Idaho State U.

Which, in wingnut world, makes her just as inexperienced as Barack Obama, who graduated first in his class from Harvard and taught Consitutional Law.

1- Sarah Palin can't name a single supreme court decsion other than Roe Vs Wade (the only one that counts, apparently).

2- Sarah Palin believes the Flintstones was a documentary.

3- Sarah Palin is a spammer and digital secrecy scofflaw

4- Sarah Palin lies, lies lies.

It would be hilarious if so many people didn't think she'd be a great VP. Are they insane? Since when did we set the bar so pathetically low? The very thought makes me sick to my stomach. As much as I've despised George W Bush, I never thought the Republicans would actually find someone who is worse. They have.

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  Watch CBS Videos Online
  
  I'll laugh when the election is over and Barack Obama is sworn in. Until then, these attempts to tickle my funny bone just aren't working. Maybe they will for you.
  
• Computer Generated Sarah Palin Interviewer
• The SNL version of Palin Vs Couric. (with video & transcript)
• And these h-i-l-a-r-i-o-u-s photoshopped pix. 1, 2,
• John McCain's phone call asking Palin to be his running mate (actually, this did make me laugh).
• Bristol Palin's fetus speaks at the convention.
• Palin Blames Daughter's Pregnancy On the Media

Or these quotes from Levi Johsnton's MySpace page (Bristol's Baby Papa)

"I’m a f**kin’ redneck who likes to snowboard and ride dirt bikes. But I live to play hockey. I like to go camping and hang out with the boys, do some fishing, shoot some sh*t and just f**kin’ chillin’ I guess. Ya f*ck with me I’ll kick ass."

Or

"In a relationship" "I don’t want kids.” But wants to use MySpace "for networking or for dating." "Love kids, but not for me."

OBAMA VS MCCAIN - THE CONDENSED VERSION

Yep, this is about it.

I Just Flew In From Austin And Boy Are My Arms Tired

Spent the weekend at the Austin City Limits music festival. The Tex-Mex was a delicious, the bands were great and the air was painfully choked with dust. All-in-all a great time. Band highlights: Gogol Bordello (best show of the fest!), Beck, Connor Oberst, YeaSayer, and Spiritualized. The Swell Season struggled to deliver a set while one technical issue after another undermined them. Lead singer, Glen Hanshard, really tried to keep it together. I felt very bad for them.

Anyway, I'm really glad this didn't happen to me on the flight home.



I don't have HBO but if I did, I'd watch this show. Looks pretty funny.

THE STRAIGHT PHOTO EXPRESS

Magazine photographer Jill Greenberg is no fan of Republicans. In fact, she's avowed Bush Hater (you, go girl!).

When Jill was hired by The Atlantic to do a portrait of John McCain for the magazine's cover, she not only decided to shoot him in unflattering light (with no retouching) --so that he would look authentically saggy-- she used the outtakes to make a political statement on her web site*.... Which is, of course, her right as an artist.

Yowza! Jill pulls no punches. Even without the take no prisoner comments, she makes McCain look like some kind of monster from a 30s Universal horror flick.

Predictably, in rightwing world where no dissent is tolerated, avowed Republicans have flooded her email and voice mail with threats and curses, calling her a "cunt" and/or a "bitch."

*to find the photos, select "names" then look up "John McCain".

ZOMBIES VS THE STRAIGHT DOPE

When I lived in Chicago, oh-so many moons ago, I used to devotedly read The Straight Dope in the Chicago Reader. However, when I moved to the West Coast, the weeklies didn't run Cecil Whatever-his-last-name-was (Adams?) twisted Mr. Answer column.

Recently, I stumbled across his fun-to-read web site. My favorite post so far is:

How would the U.S. military fight a zombie army?

Of all the world's problems, I think this might be most pressing.

FINALLY, A WAY TO STOP SANDWICH THIEVES

If there's a problem, the Internet will solve it.

Need to thwart breakroom bandits from pilfering your lunchtime chow? These nifty sandwich bags should do the trick. Genius!

Now, who would steal a sanwich that looked like this?

NO JEST

David Foster Wallace was one of those writers I appreciated and respected more than liked. A few years back I struggled to read Infinite Jest and gave up after the first hundred and fifty or so pages. It was impenetrably intellectual and, in my unsophisticated view, unrelentingly indulgent. But then again, maybe that's just a reaction to my own limitations as a reader. It's easy to say someone is being indulgent if you don't fully appreciate and understand their work. I should probably give the book another try some day.

Still, I can't help but think that writing is an act of communication... and if you can't communicate your ideas to me --and I'm a reasonably intelligent fellow-- then is the failure solely mine own? I can't stand Toni Morrison's writing for similar reasons. It's unnecessarily and arrogantly impenetrable. She seems to delight in the idea that people struggle to understand her work.

And so, I think she is a far inferior writer to Wallace. Hers seems to be the obfuscation of pretense. An ego-driven need to muddy the waters with faux poetry and indulgent digressions in order to distract the reader from her contrived and pedestrian narratives. Wallace, on the other hand, seemed to speak in his own argot. While his essays are cogent, intellectual dissections that betray his inner geek (read his critique of the Terminator 2 here), his fiction seems to stray into some uncharted part of his brain where stories and convoluted ponderings fuse. It's reminiscent of Thomas Pynchon, a type of unconscious regurgitation that erupts and undulates with ideas. Unlike Pynchon, however, Wallace seemed less married to narrative thrust or an inner storytelling pattern. Instead, he seemed to be simultaneously deconstructing and constructing his stories as they unfolded --never sure of which was more important. Then again, I've only read the one abandoned novel and waded through The Girl With The Curious Hair (which I quite liked). Maybe I don't know what the hell I'm talking about.

I do know I really enjoyed his collection of essays, Supposedly Fun Things I'll Never Do Again, for it's wide-eyed misanthropy, intellectual mockery and gamely amused embrace of conventional pasttimes. Wallace combatted irony in his writing (while infusing it with, well, irony), indicting those who peddled in irony as never caring enough to actually say anything of import or substance. In his own convoluted manner, he seemed to dare to suggest that there is virtue in sincerity.

And if only for that, I admire him.

Yesterday, Wallace hung himself. I'll never quite understand what drives someone who obviously burns to create to destroy themselves. Don't they have more stories they want to tell? Or did it become a burden to try to tell them?

I felt the same way about Kurt Cobain and Elliot Smith. Didn't they have more songs they wanted to write, to sing. For Kurt, wasn't it worth staying alive just to see his child safely into adulthood? Even if these men's creativity is spurred on by mental dysfunction (manic depression or whatever), you have to wonder what biological imperative required them to flip off the switch.

And so, no irony. I'm a little sad. Sad for Wallace's wife who discovered his body. Sad for Frances Cobain, who never got to know her father. Sad for all the stories and songs that won't be created. Sad for the joy or peace or insight or solace they would have brought to readers and listeners.

God knows we can all use a little of all those things.



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EVERYONE GETS A SECOND ACT

...especially if they steal their teenage daughter's identity.




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BARBARA WA WA GOES AFTER JOHN MCCAIN

I guess when the mainstream news doesn't bother to ask Mr. Straight Talk any serious questions you have to rely on the chicks on The View.

FEEL SAFER?

Below are a cluster of stories that further convince how insane our country and, in particular, our government has become under George Bush and the Republicans. See, in the name of safety, we have allowed these thugs to corrupt the basic principles of civic rights and undermine the concept of a free and respectful society.

As an added bonus I've included more evidence as to why Republicans are not to be trusted. Ever.

1- Fourth grader suspended from school for possessing a broken pencil sharper. No, really.

The boy -- a fourth-grader described as a well-behaved and good student -- cried during the meeting with his mom, the deputy and the school's assistant principal.

Here's the police report for this insanity.

2- Police conduct baseless no-knock marijuana raid on home, throw family on the floor at gun point and kill their two labrador retrievers.

Turns out it's the home of Cheye Calvo, mayor of Berwyn Heights, Maryland. Listen to a podcast of the chilling events.

3- Michigan Republicans try to take away your vote if your house goes into foreclosure. Gee, guess which population is most vulnerable? Is there no limit to how low these scumbags will stoop to steal an election?

"We will have a list of foreclosed homes and will make sure people aren’t voting from those addresses,” party chairman James Carabelli told Michigan Messenger in a telephone interview earlier this week

Simply dispicable.

4- House burns to the ground in Texas after officials turn off the hydrants to protect community from potential terrorists.

5- I mentioned it a couple of days ago but Sarah Palin's town, Wasilla, used to charge rape victims to have evidence gathered. It was the ONLY community in Alaska to do this and it became policy after she became Mayor. It took the state's legislature and Tony Knowles, the Democratic governor she defeated, to finally ban this appalling practice. Palin's hand-picked police chief was quoted as being displeased with the ban. Gee, what a feminist.

YOU GO ROG!

Roger Ebert weighs in on Sarah Palin.

Here's a taste.

You don't need to be a pointy-headed elitist to travel abroad. You need curiosity and a hunger to see the world. What kind of a person (who has the money) arrives at the age of 44 and has only been out of the country once, on an official tour to Iraq? Sarah Palin's travel record is that of a provincial, not someone who is equipped to deal with global issues.

I LIKE THIS

'nuff said.

X-MEN 3 - FOOTAGE FOUND ON THE CUTTING ROOM FLOOR

Recently unearthed, this rare footage shows how filmmakers considered a different direction for the movie franchise.

THE RABBIT HOLE GETS EVEN DEEPER

Turns out the woman responsible for the rainbow conspiracy video has an entire YouTube channel dedicated to the vast conspiracy of weird experiments that are being perpetrated on an unsuspecting populace every day.

Visit her site and get your self educated! OR watch this shocking video.



And in case you're wondering what she means when she talks about High Frequency Active Auroral Research, click here.

THE CONSPIRACY CONTINUES

Another video gem courtesy Jeff S. Much like those who believed fluoride would rob us of our precious bodily essence, this woman has unearthed yet another insidious plot to pollute our water supply. Watch and tremble.... if you dare!


Insane Rainbow Conspiracy Lady - Watch more free videos

SIMPLE AND TO THE POINT



And only a small sample what's wrong with this frightening candidate. Like, did you know she supported requiring rape victims to pick up the cost of their rape testing kits. Nice. Or maybe that she was overheard at a local diner saying, "Sambo beat the bitch," when Barack Obama beat Hillary Clinton.

Nothing says partiot like a corrupt, bigoted, insensitive, Christian fascist.

EVIL DEAD... THE MUSICAL

Yup. Another example of classic theater I simply must see. Don't know how, don't know when... but I need to experience this play. Preferably after eating three or four items from the list of 100 thing you have to eat before you die.

100 THINGS YOU SHOULD EAT BEFORE YOU DIE

Strangely, pop rocks mixed with Dr. Pepper isn't on the list. Maybe it's because Mikey's stomach exploded. Or whatever that urban myth said.

Speaking of eating strange foods. I remember once when Jeff S and I were up in Vancouver BC and I decided that I needed to taste a 'century egg.'

It was black. The yolk was greyish-yellowish black. It was... really yucky. It tasted really really eggy. In the bad way. But now I can write about my 'century egg' experience.

On this list, I've eaten most of the traditional and ethnic stuff ....except for the rare meat dishes (blood pudding, crocodile, head cheese etc). Still, I need to give these a try: carp, Bagna cauda, Umeboshi, Poutine, Durian, Gjetost, or brunost, Baijiu, and Lapsang souchong.

What about you?

WHY THE AMERICAN AUTO INDUSTRY DESERVES ALL THE PAIN IT'S IN

So, Ford has come up with a pretty good-looking car that gets 65 mpg. The 2009 Fiesta ECOneticin goes on sale in Europe this November.

When does it debut here? Never. Ford won't sell it here.

Why? "Business reasons."

Actually, it's because it runs on diesel and they don't want to refit their Mexican plants.

It's bad enough Europe gets free healthcare while we all go bankrupt from cancer. Now they get fuel efficient cars while federal tax incentives still favor those who buy Hummers.

THREE MAGIC WORDS

Bacon flavored vodka.

Imagine Homer Simpson salivating here.

But will vegetarians drink it?



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CREEPY MUTE CHRISTIAN CLOWNS WILL WASH YOUR CAR

No really. Read all about it here.
There's even an unsettling picture.

This is the stuff of nightmares for my kids.


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"It was so cool gettin' saved."
-Sarah Palin

This guy's commentary is a bit insufferable but it's worth it to see the commercial for Sarah Palin's church in Wasilla.



Then there's this winner, where she addresses the congregation and says a gas pipeline is God's will.



But the thing that probably disturbs me most is this picture of our VP Wannabe... which will, no doubt, bring in the all those neanderthals who've been breathing in stock car fumes for the last decade.

Lord, help us all!

The best response I've heard to her attack on Obama as a community organizer was from a woman caller on the Diane Rehm Show who said she was a devout christian who was deeply offended by Palin's speech.

She reminded McCain's VP pick that, "Jesus was a community organizer. Pontius Pilate was a governer."

Amen.

Omen.

Whatever.

GOOD FENCES MAKE GOOD NEIGHBORS

I always love stumbling across a kindred spirit on the Internets. This guy (gal?) has put together some really nifty pictures of cool, eccentric and seriously bizarre fences.

He missed a few, including the toothbrush fence and the musical barbed wire fence.

Still, the bra fence is an instant classic and there are lots of other barricade wonder to be had. Personally, I'd love to have the rollercoasting white picket or the colored pencil fence. Enjoy!

BUST A MOVE FOR JESUS

Footage from the church that Sarah Palin attends in Alaska. The same one that said Jews are damned to hell... with her in attendance. How many weeks were we subjected to Jeremiah Wright? Where's the news coverage on the Sarah Barracuda's antiSemitic relgious leader?

Wasilla Assembly of God Clip

SUPERHEROES ARE PEOPLE TOO


Okay, on a lighter note.... Jeff S turned me onto this preview for a new BBC show that looks fantastic. The thing that pisses me off is that I had this very same idea for a show 6 years ago. Ah, well. Steve Jobs also stole my idea for the iPhone.

Of course, this being the U.S.A., I can't see the show... except for the magic of bittorrent.

Here's a taste...

OKAY, THIS IS JUST PURE UNADULTERATED BULLSHIT

If I hear one more pinheaded right wing commentator talk about the "liberal" media I'm going to puke. Case in point: CNN asks... yes, they actually dedicated news time to this... Is Obama The AntiChrist?

Aside for the fact that we all know Dick Cheney is the freakin' AntiChrist, in what reality is this responsible journalism? When was the last time you saw ANY Republican get called the AntiChrist by a major news outlet? Never.

Boy, good thing the Left Behind authors were there to offer a balanced perspective:

"I can see by the language he uses why people think he could be the antichrist," adds LaHaye, "but from my reading of scripture, he doesn't meet the criteria. There is no indication in the Bible that the antichrist will be an American."

Most of the time I refrain from cursing in my blog but WHAT THE FUCK? Has our country and its news media gone FUCKING INSANE? When did we reenter the 11th Century?

Here's the embarrassing, insulting and just plain imbecilic clip...



For the record:

George Bush +AntiChrist = 294, 000 hits.
John McCain+AntiChrist = 489, 000 hits.
Sarah Palin+AntiChrist = 226,000.

Clearly, Obama is the most evil with 900,000 hits.

But wait...

Christians + idiots = 5,950, 000 hits.
Yup, that's 5 million.

CNN + idiots = 2,110,000 hits

Maybe there is something to this Google hits = truth formula after all.


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EVER WONDER WHAT TV COMMENTATORS SAY WHEN THE CAMERA ISN'T ON THEM ANYMORE? WONDER NO MORE!

Rightwing Reagan speechwriter and partisan scold Peggy Noonan thinks Palin is the nail in John McCain's political coffin and expresses real anger over the choice. Off camera, of course. On camera she's an aging cheerleader.

Enjoy!

IN A WORLD WITHOUT ...DON LAFONTAINE

The name probably means nothing to you but this guy is essentially the voice of movie trailers, having done over 5000 in his lifetime. The minute you hear his sonorous baritone you'll think, 'oh that guy.' LaFontaine was a machine, ripping through up to 50 voice overs a week.

Here are a few examples of his work. In particular, I like how the Geico commercial used him.








And here's a brief doc on the guy. The world of cinema will never be the same. I hope they honor him at the next Oscars. He deserves it!