McCAIN GETS KEY ENDORSEMENT

...from Al-Qaeda.
Along with 'real America' of course.
Read about it here.

Supposedly, the McCain campaign is totally freaking out.
Read about that here.

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WHAT THE PFUCK?

McCain's main spokesperson, NancyPfotenhauer, struggles to defend Sarah Palin's ignorance about the job she's running for. Contrary to the State of Alaska's CEO's explanation, the VP does NOT "get in there and work with the Senate to make policy". They only cast a vote if there is a tie.

That's it.

And they need to be ready to step in should the Prez be unable to fulfill the duties of his office.

Palin's been fearmongering...er... running alongside McCain for more than six weeks. Hasn't anyone given her a job desciption yet?

IT WAS INEVITABLE

Hustler is to release "Nailin’ Paylin." What's it about? Well, what do you think it's about. Truth be told, I'd rather guys buy this video than vote for that imbecilic freak.

...Jerry T. is set to direct, and porn star Lisa Ann will be taking on the role of Palin—er, “Paylin.” According to HUSTLER, “Nailin’ Paylin” is a “naughty adventure to the wild side of that sexy Alaska governor,” featuring “girl-on-girl lovin’,” “nailing the Russians, who come knocking on her back-door,” and a younger Palin getting seduced by her creationist college professor who “will explain a ‘big bang’ theory even she can’t deny!” Also included: a three-way hardcore sex scene starring porn stars as Palin/Paylin, Hillary Clinton, and Condoleezza Rice. Of course, no political porn satire would be complete without a salute to Fox News—a Bill O’Reilly stand-in will announce the movie’s multiple sex scandals as they unfold.

Here's a taste of the script:

(Open on the PALIN residence, Wasilla, Alaska. Evening. Governor SARAH PALIN is sitting on the couch, reading "all of the magazines." She is wearing a satin negligee and bunny slippers. Her luxurious brown hair is in a bun. Her glasses rest just so on the bridge of her nose. TODD is out of town on business. TRIGG is peacefully asleep upstairs. There is a firm knock at the door. PALIN puts down her reading material and goes to answer it.)

PALIN: Who is it?
GRUFF MALE VOICE: It's JOE, the tanning-bed repairman.

(PALIN unlocks the door and opens it)

PALIN: Hiya! You were supposed to be here two hours ago, doncha know?
JOE: I'm sorry. My snowmobile broke down outside of Matunska. I had to walk the rest of the way.
PALIN: Well, you're in luck. I just baked a batch of chocolate-chip cookies. Why don't you come inside and I'll fix you a plate of 'em?

(JOE obliges. He takes a seat on the couch. PALIN enters the kitchen and returns shortly after with the cookies. She gives them to JOE, but not before looking him up and down.)

PALIN: My oh my. That's quite a toolbelt you have on. It looks heavy.
JOE: I have a big hammer.
PALIN: Oh, I betcha do. I love a big hammer. But I love screwdrivers, too! And wrenches. The fact is I love and respect all of America's diverse tools, big and small. They're what helps make us so great as a nation. Here, let me take that off for ya.

(PALIN takes a seat on the coach beside JOE and starts to undo his belt. He stops her.)

JOE: Let's go take a look at the tanning bed first.
PALIN: Oooh, okay.

(PALIN leads JOE to the tanning salon in the basement. JOE carefully inspects the machine.)

JOE: Looks like there are just a bunch of screws loose.
PALIN: (seductively) You're in luck. I fully support off-shore and on-shore drilling.

(PALIN pounces on JOE and throws him onto the top of the tanning bed. She quickly rips off his jeans.)

PALIN: God almighty! You are hung like a moose. Now I have to eat ya!
JOE: I'm bigger than a moose. Do you have any contraceptives?
PALIN: It's okay. I already took a morning-after pill.
JOE: Um, are you sure it works that way?
PALIN: Are you asking me if I know what a morning-after pill is? Because I totally do! I'll get back to ya with specifics.

(The two proceed to make furious love in a multitude of positions. PALIN amply demonstrates that she has enough experience.)

PALIN: Fuck me harder! HARDER! Pound me until my head is so empty that I can't even remember the name of the one Supreme Court case I actually know! I want it to burn. Burn like a banned book. Oh God, Oh God, OH MY GOD! MAKE ME SEE RUSSIA FROM HERE!

THE GOOD WILL THAT ELECTION SEASON BRINGS

With all this talk about the Pro-American and Real American regions in our country why is it always Republican supporters who commit acts of violence and vandalism, and say the most awful things? Funny that. I guess that's just the way 'real Americans' express their patriotism.

Here are a few heart warming tales from the front...

1- Voting machines malfunctioning. Who woulda guessed? Explanation... the machines have problems with humidity. Good thing they're in a state like Florida, huh?

2- Obama sign replaced with a Confederate flag. Stay classy, Chester, Virginia!

3- Chicago Tribune endorses first Democrat for President. Ever.

4- Sarah Palin unable to correctly answer a third grader's question: What does the Vice President do? Apparently no one's told her yet.

5- RNC spends $150K on Palin's campaign wardrobe. Now there's someone who understands the plight of people struggling on a middle class income!

6- Guy in Ohio lynches Obama in effigy. Stay classy, Mike Lundsford!

7- Al Jazeera interviews Palin supporters. You don't see this on CNN.



8- So, who attends a Sarah Palin rally? Watch the video to witness how real Americans act. Don't you just love the guy who thinks Obama is a monkey? I think I just threw up in my mouth.




9- Finally, just who are the 15% of Americans who think the country is on the right track.

YES WE CARVE!

CAN YOU SPELL "IRONY"

'nuff said. Read all about it here.


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THE EVER-DEPENDABLE JACK CHICK...

...takes on all those Jesus-haters who think Halloween is cool. Well, actually, just the vampires.

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FUNNY... AND OH-SO TRUE

I'm not the biggest Family Guy fan (I always preferred The Simpsons) but I just may have to give the show another chance.

Plus, who knew Nazis loved caricatures so much?

Love the laser blast.

CREEPY... BUT BEAUTIFUL

Dave Bullock is a Los Angeles photographer with really impressive credentials. He takes amazing photos of industrial landscapes. Imagine what he could do here in Detroit!

SCARE THE HELL OUT OF YOUR FRIENDS

Show up at your liberal friend's Halloween costume party in one of these and you're guaranteed to make them pee their pants.

Make children cry, animals cower under furniture and the unAmerican parts of America quake in fear.

Free downloads of these mask are available right here. Get 'em while the getting's good!

THIS GUY IS AMAZING

All Hallow's Eve is coming.

I linked to this guy in my blog last year but he's so damn good I had to do it again.

It kinda makes my badly hewn triangular eyes, nose and mouth jack-o-lanterns look pretty pathetic.

Good thing I use real human heads.

JOHN CLEESE WEIGHS IN ON SARAH PALIN

I think he's too kind.

CIRCUMSUPERSIZED

Go to Florida and convince you grandparents to vote for Obama.

Jeff S, you can just work on your Mom. Failing that, confuse her about the election date. Seriously.

GOT A QUESTION FOR SARAH PALIN?

Like why she thought it was okay to charge rape victims for their own rape kits? Or maybe, how we should evaluate "Alaska's CEO" (her quote) after leaving her former hometown $20 million in debt after serving as mayor (it had a $5 million surplus when she took office)? Or whether she thinks dinosaurs and man roamed the Earth together six thousand years ago?

The California Democratic Party came up with a brilliant way to ask Sarah Palin all those questions her faithful might forget to ask at a rally in LA on Saturday. They rented a giant electronic billboard and placed it across the street from the election stop, posting questions for Wasilla's most famous citizen.

The questions are submitted via text message or by going to this site and entering your own.

Live streaming video by Ustream

Don't you love technology?

If the video embed doesn't work go directly to the site.

SEINFELD CIRCA 1972

My friends, this makes me laugh.

IT'S NOT GOTCHA JOURNALISM. IT'S JUST THAT YOU'RE A CORRUPT RIGHTWING KOOK WHO'S RIDICULOUSLY UNQUALIFIED

More Sarah Palin morsels of inanity. Remember it took her 5 universities to finally earn her BA in Communications from Idaho State U.

Which, in wingnut world, makes her just as inexperienced as Barack Obama, who graduated first in his class from Harvard and taught Consitutional Law.

1- Sarah Palin can't name a single supreme court decsion other than Roe Vs Wade (the only one that counts, apparently).

2- Sarah Palin believes the Flintstones was a documentary.

3- Sarah Palin is a spammer and digital secrecy scofflaw

4- Sarah Palin lies, lies lies.

It would be hilarious if so many people didn't think she'd be a great VP. Are they insane? Since when did we set the bar so pathetically low? The very thought makes me sick to my stomach. As much as I've despised George W Bush, I never thought the Republicans would actually find someone who is worse. They have.

• 
  
  Watch CBS Videos Online
  
  I'll laugh when the election is over and Barack Obama is sworn in. Until then, these attempts to tickle my funny bone just aren't working. Maybe they will for you.
  
• Computer Generated Sarah Palin Interviewer
• The SNL version of Palin Vs Couric. (with video & transcript)
• And these h-i-l-a-r-i-o-u-s photoshopped pix. 1, 2,
• John McCain's phone call asking Palin to be his running mate (actually, this did make me laugh).
• Bristol Palin's fetus speaks at the convention.
• Palin Blames Daughter's Pregnancy On the Media

Or these quotes from Levi Johsnton's MySpace page (Bristol's Baby Papa)

"I’m a f**kin’ redneck who likes to snowboard and ride dirt bikes. But I live to play hockey. I like to go camping and hang out with the boys, do some fishing, shoot some sh*t and just f**kin’ chillin’ I guess. Ya f*ck with me I’ll kick ass."

Or

"In a relationship" "I don’t want kids.” But wants to use MySpace "for networking or for dating." "Love kids, but not for me."

OBAMA VS MCCAIN - THE CONDENSED VERSION

Yep, this is about it.

I Just Flew In From Austin And Boy Are My Arms Tired

Spent the weekend at the Austin City Limits music festival. The Tex-Mex was a delicious, the bands were great and the air was painfully choked with dust. All-in-all a great time. Band highlights: Gogol Bordello (best show of the fest!), Beck, Connor Oberst, YeaSayer, and Spiritualized. The Swell Season struggled to deliver a set while one technical issue after another undermined them. Lead singer, Glen Hanshard, really tried to keep it together. I felt very bad for them.

Anyway, I'm really glad this didn't happen to me on the flight home.



I don't have HBO but if I did, I'd watch this show. Looks pretty funny.

THE STRAIGHT PHOTO EXPRESS

Magazine photographer Jill Greenberg is no fan of Republicans. In fact, she's avowed Bush Hater (you, go girl!).

When Jill was hired by The Atlantic to do a portrait of John McCain for the magazine's cover, she not only decided to shoot him in unflattering light (with no retouching) --so that he would look authentically saggy-- she used the outtakes to make a political statement on her web site*.... Which is, of course, her right as an artist.

Yowza! Jill pulls no punches. Even without the take no prisoner comments, she makes McCain look like some kind of monster from a 30s Universal horror flick.

Predictably, in rightwing world where no dissent is tolerated, avowed Republicans have flooded her email and voice mail with threats and curses, calling her a "cunt" and/or a "bitch."

*to find the photos, select "names" then look up "John McCain".

ZOMBIES VS THE STRAIGHT DOPE

When I lived in Chicago, oh-so many moons ago, I used to devotedly read The Straight Dope in the Chicago Reader. However, when I moved to the West Coast, the weeklies didn't run Cecil Whatever-his-last-name-was (Adams?) twisted Mr. Answer column.

Recently, I stumbled across his fun-to-read web site. My favorite post so far is:

How would the U.S. military fight a zombie army?

Of all the world's problems, I think this might be most pressing.

FINALLY, A WAY TO STOP SANDWICH THIEVES

If there's a problem, the Internet will solve it.

Need to thwart breakroom bandits from pilfering your lunchtime chow? These nifty sandwich bags should do the trick. Genius!

Now, who would steal a sanwich that looked like this?

NO JEST

David Foster Wallace was one of those writers I appreciated and respected more than liked. A few years back I struggled to read Infinite Jest and gave up after the first hundred and fifty or so pages. It was impenetrably intellectual and, in my unsophisticated view, unrelentingly indulgent. But then again, maybe that's just a reaction to my own limitations as a reader. It's easy to say someone is being indulgent if you don't fully appreciate and understand their work. I should probably give the book another try some day.

Still, I can't help but think that writing is an act of communication... and if you can't communicate your ideas to me --and I'm a reasonably intelligent fellow-- then is the failure solely mine own? I can't stand Toni Morrison's writing for similar reasons. It's unnecessarily and arrogantly impenetrable. She seems to delight in the idea that people struggle to understand her work.

And so, I think she is a far inferior writer to Wallace. Hers seems to be the obfuscation of pretense. An ego-driven need to muddy the waters with faux poetry and indulgent digressions in order to distract the reader from her contrived and pedestrian narratives. Wallace, on the other hand, seemed to speak in his own argot. While his essays are cogent, intellectual dissections that betray his inner geek (read his critique of the Terminator 2 here), his fiction seems to stray into some uncharted part of his brain where stories and convoluted ponderings fuse. It's reminiscent of Thomas Pynchon, a type of unconscious regurgitation that erupts and undulates with ideas. Unlike Pynchon, however, Wallace seemed less married to narrative thrust or an inner storytelling pattern. Instead, he seemed to be simultaneously deconstructing and constructing his stories as they unfolded --never sure of which was more important. Then again, I've only read the one abandoned novel and waded through The Girl With The Curious Hair (which I quite liked). Maybe I don't know what the hell I'm talking about.

I do know I really enjoyed his collection of essays, Supposedly Fun Things I'll Never Do Again, for it's wide-eyed misanthropy, intellectual mockery and gamely amused embrace of conventional pasttimes. Wallace combatted irony in his writing (while infusing it with, well, irony), indicting those who peddled in irony as never caring enough to actually say anything of import or substance. In his own convoluted manner, he seemed to dare to suggest that there is virtue in sincerity.

And if only for that, I admire him.

Yesterday, Wallace hung himself. I'll never quite understand what drives someone who obviously burns to create to destroy themselves. Don't they have more stories they want to tell? Or did it become a burden to try to tell them?

I felt the same way about Kurt Cobain and Elliot Smith. Didn't they have more songs they wanted to write, to sing. For Kurt, wasn't it worth staying alive just to see his child safely into adulthood? Even if these men's creativity is spurred on by mental dysfunction (manic depression or whatever), you have to wonder what biological imperative required them to flip off the switch.

And so, no irony. I'm a little sad. Sad for Wallace's wife who discovered his body. Sad for Frances Cobain, who never got to know her father. Sad for all the stories and songs that won't be created. Sad for the joy or peace or insight or solace they would have brought to readers and listeners.

God knows we can all use a little of all those things.



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EVERYONE GETS A SECOND ACT

...especially if they steal their teenage daughter's identity.




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BARBARA WA WA GOES AFTER JOHN MCCAIN

I guess when the mainstream news doesn't bother to ask Mr. Straight Talk any serious questions you have to rely on the chicks on The View.

FEEL SAFER?

Below are a cluster of stories that further convince how insane our country and, in particular, our government has become under George Bush and the Republicans. See, in the name of safety, we have allowed these thugs to corrupt the basic principles of civic rights and undermine the concept of a free and respectful society.

As an added bonus I've included more evidence as to why Republicans are not to be trusted. Ever.

1- Fourth grader suspended from school for possessing a broken pencil sharper. No, really.

The boy -- a fourth-grader described as a well-behaved and good student -- cried during the meeting with his mom, the deputy and the school's assistant principal.

Here's the police report for this insanity.

2- Police conduct baseless no-knock marijuana raid on home, throw family on the floor at gun point and kill their two labrador retrievers.

Turns out it's the home of Cheye Calvo, mayor of Berwyn Heights, Maryland. Listen to a podcast of the chilling events.

3- Michigan Republicans try to take away your vote if your house goes into foreclosure. Gee, guess which population is most vulnerable? Is there no limit to how low these scumbags will stoop to steal an election?

"We will have a list of foreclosed homes and will make sure people aren’t voting from those addresses,” party chairman James Carabelli told Michigan Messenger in a telephone interview earlier this week

Simply dispicable.

4- House burns to the ground in Texas after officials turn off the hydrants to protect community from potential terrorists.

5- I mentioned it a couple of days ago but Sarah Palin's town, Wasilla, used to charge rape victims to have evidence gathered. It was the ONLY community in Alaska to do this and it became policy after she became Mayor. It took the state's legislature and Tony Knowles, the Democratic governor she defeated, to finally ban this appalling practice. Palin's hand-picked police chief was quoted as being displeased with the ban. Gee, what a feminist.

YOU GO ROG!

Roger Ebert weighs in on Sarah Palin.

Here's a taste.

You don't need to be a pointy-headed elitist to travel abroad. You need curiosity and a hunger to see the world. What kind of a person (who has the money) arrives at the age of 44 and has only been out of the country once, on an official tour to Iraq? Sarah Palin's travel record is that of a provincial, not someone who is equipped to deal with global issues.

I LIKE THIS

'nuff said.

X-MEN 3 - FOOTAGE FOUND ON THE CUTTING ROOM FLOOR

Recently unearthed, this rare footage shows how filmmakers considered a different direction for the movie franchise.

THE RABBIT HOLE GETS EVEN DEEPER

Turns out the woman responsible for the rainbow conspiracy video has an entire YouTube channel dedicated to the vast conspiracy of weird experiments that are being perpetrated on an unsuspecting populace every day.

Visit her site and get your self educated! OR watch this shocking video.



And in case you're wondering what she means when she talks about High Frequency Active Auroral Research, click here.

THE CONSPIRACY CONTINUES

Another video gem courtesy Jeff S. Much like those who believed fluoride would rob us of our precious bodily essence, this woman has unearthed yet another insidious plot to pollute our water supply. Watch and tremble.... if you dare!


Insane Rainbow Conspiracy Lady - Watch more free videos

SIMPLE AND TO THE POINT



And only a small sample what's wrong with this frightening candidate. Like, did you know she supported requiring rape victims to pick up the cost of their rape testing kits. Nice. Or maybe that she was overheard at a local diner saying, "Sambo beat the bitch," when Barack Obama beat Hillary Clinton.

Nothing says partiot like a corrupt, bigoted, insensitive, Christian fascist.

EVIL DEAD... THE MUSICAL

Yup. Another example of classic theater I simply must see. Don't know how, don't know when... but I need to experience this play. Preferably after eating three or four items from the list of 100 thing you have to eat before you die.

100 THINGS YOU SHOULD EAT BEFORE YOU DIE

Strangely, pop rocks mixed with Dr. Pepper isn't on the list. Maybe it's because Mikey's stomach exploded. Or whatever that urban myth said.

Speaking of eating strange foods. I remember once when Jeff S and I were up in Vancouver BC and I decided that I needed to taste a 'century egg.'

It was black. The yolk was greyish-yellowish black. It was... really yucky. It tasted really really eggy. In the bad way. But now I can write about my 'century egg' experience.

On this list, I've eaten most of the traditional and ethnic stuff ....except for the rare meat dishes (blood pudding, crocodile, head cheese etc). Still, I need to give these a try: carp, Bagna cauda, Umeboshi, Poutine, Durian, Gjetost, or brunost, Baijiu, and Lapsang souchong.

What about you?

WHY THE AMERICAN AUTO INDUSTRY DESERVES ALL THE PAIN IT'S IN

So, Ford has come up with a pretty good-looking car that gets 65 mpg. The 2009 Fiesta ECOneticin goes on sale in Europe this November.

When does it debut here? Never. Ford won't sell it here.

Why? "Business reasons."

Actually, it's because it runs on diesel and they don't want to refit their Mexican plants.

It's bad enough Europe gets free healthcare while we all go bankrupt from cancer. Now they get fuel efficient cars while federal tax incentives still favor those who buy Hummers.

THREE MAGIC WORDS

Bacon flavored vodka.

Imagine Homer Simpson salivating here.

But will vegetarians drink it?



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CREEPY MUTE CHRISTIAN CLOWNS WILL WASH YOUR CAR

No really. Read all about it here.
There's even an unsettling picture.

This is the stuff of nightmares for my kids.


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"It was so cool gettin' saved."
-Sarah Palin

This guy's commentary is a bit insufferable but it's worth it to see the commercial for Sarah Palin's church in Wasilla.



Then there's this winner, where she addresses the congregation and says a gas pipeline is God's will.



But the thing that probably disturbs me most is this picture of our VP Wannabe... which will, no doubt, bring in the all those neanderthals who've been breathing in stock car fumes for the last decade.

Lord, help us all!

The best response I've heard to her attack on Obama as a community organizer was from a woman caller on the Diane Rehm Show who said she was a devout christian who was deeply offended by Palin's speech.

She reminded McCain's VP pick that, "Jesus was a community organizer. Pontius Pilate was a governer."

Amen.

Omen.

Whatever.

GOOD FENCES MAKE GOOD NEIGHBORS

I always love stumbling across a kindred spirit on the Internets. This guy (gal?) has put together some really nifty pictures of cool, eccentric and seriously bizarre fences.

He missed a few, including the toothbrush fence and the musical barbed wire fence.

Still, the bra fence is an instant classic and there are lots of other barricade wonder to be had. Personally, I'd love to have the rollercoasting white picket or the colored pencil fence. Enjoy!

BUST A MOVE FOR JESUS

Footage from the church that Sarah Palin attends in Alaska. The same one that said Jews are damned to hell... with her in attendance. How many weeks were we subjected to Jeremiah Wright? Where's the news coverage on the Sarah Barracuda's antiSemitic relgious leader?

Wasilla Assembly of God Clip

SUPERHEROES ARE PEOPLE TOO


Okay, on a lighter note.... Jeff S turned me onto this preview for a new BBC show that looks fantastic. The thing that pisses me off is that I had this very same idea for a show 6 years ago. Ah, well. Steve Jobs also stole my idea for the iPhone.

Of course, this being the U.S.A., I can't see the show... except for the magic of bittorrent.

Here's a taste...

OKAY, THIS IS JUST PURE UNADULTERATED BULLSHIT

If I hear one more pinheaded right wing commentator talk about the "liberal" media I'm going to puke. Case in point: CNN asks... yes, they actually dedicated news time to this... Is Obama The AntiChrist?

Aside for the fact that we all know Dick Cheney is the freakin' AntiChrist, in what reality is this responsible journalism? When was the last time you saw ANY Republican get called the AntiChrist by a major news outlet? Never.

Boy, good thing the Left Behind authors were there to offer a balanced perspective:

"I can see by the language he uses why people think he could be the antichrist," adds LaHaye, "but from my reading of scripture, he doesn't meet the criteria. There is no indication in the Bible that the antichrist will be an American."

Most of the time I refrain from cursing in my blog but WHAT THE FUCK? Has our country and its news media gone FUCKING INSANE? When did we reenter the 11th Century?

Here's the embarrassing, insulting and just plain imbecilic clip...



For the record:

George Bush +AntiChrist = 294, 000 hits.
John McCain+AntiChrist = 489, 000 hits.
Sarah Palin+AntiChrist = 226,000.

Clearly, Obama is the most evil with 900,000 hits.

But wait...

Christians + idiots = 5,950, 000 hits.
Yup, that's 5 million.

CNN + idiots = 2,110,000 hits

Maybe there is something to this Google hits = truth formula after all.


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EVER WONDER WHAT TV COMMENTATORS SAY WHEN THE CAMERA ISN'T ON THEM ANYMORE? WONDER NO MORE!

Rightwing Reagan speechwriter and partisan scold Peggy Noonan thinks Palin is the nail in John McCain's political coffin and expresses real anger over the choice. Off camera, of course. On camera she's an aging cheerleader.

Enjoy!

IN A WORLD WITHOUT ...DON LAFONTAINE

The name probably means nothing to you but this guy is essentially the voice of movie trailers, having done over 5000 in his lifetime. The minute you hear his sonorous baritone you'll think, 'oh that guy.' LaFontaine was a machine, ripping through up to 50 voice overs a week.

Here are a few examples of his work. In particular, I like how the Geico commercial used him.








And here's a brief doc on the guy. The world of cinema will never be the same. I hope they honor him at the next Oscars. He deserves it!

The Disturbing Origins of 5 Common Nursery Rhymes

In college I learned the creepy origins of Ring Around The Rosey (kids would mock plaque victims with the chant) and ever since have been unwilling to play the game with my kids. This great little Internet article from Cracked (of all places) explains a few more unsavory origins for children's rhymes. Check it out.

This is what they had to say about Georgie Porgie...

The whole thing refers to a torrid gay sex scandal involving King Charles I. Georgie Porgie is thought to be a caricature of George Villiers, the 1st Duke of Buckingham and hardcore pretty boy. He was rumored to be a lover to Anne of Austria, the Queen Consort of France who was notorious for just about everything except for being pretty. Or really looking like a woman at all.

WHO IS SARAH PALIN?

Other than John McCain's Hail Mary attempt to get elected.

Well, she wants creationism taught in High School science classes.

http://blog.wired.com/wiredscience/2008/08/mccains-vp-want.html

Thinks polar bears shouldn't get a 'threatened species' designation because it might slow down oil drilling.

http://blog.wired.com/27bstroke6/2008/08/john-mccain-pic.html

Caused the 'city' she was mayor of to spend nearly ten times the amount it might have paid for a sports complex... because she allowed it to be built on someone else's land ...then tried to seize it through eminent domain.

http://www.adn.com/matsu/story/474934.html

And appointed a sexual harrasser as the head of Alaska's Department of Public Safety

http://andrewsullivan.theatlantic.com/the_daily_dish/2008/08/palin-appointed.html

But really, the fact is, she's 44 years old, has no practical national political experience, would be one hearbeat away from becoming president to the oldest elected president in our country (God forbid), would continue undermining laws to benefit the oil industry, left her former hometown's finances in a shambles, admitted to not knowing what a vice president does in an interview two years ago, and is under investigation for abusing the power of her office.

The horrifying thing? She'll probably get elected.

GREAT MOVIES SWEDED

Okay, if you didn't see Be Kind Rewind (and most people didn't) you probably don't know what 'sweded' means. So, watch this clip.




These homemade versions of popular flicks were the best part of Be Kind Rewind. As a matter of fact, I was so tickled by them I gave the movie a better review than I should. As a total movie package, however, it was pretty lacking.

Still, the film challenged audience to no longer be passive when it comes to art. To participate. Which is a terrific message. And one that sunk in with a few people. So, check out these awesome 'sweded' versions of popular films, now circulating on YouTube.

And go out and make your own!

TERMINATOR 2




JOHN CARPENTER'S THE THING

I HOPE YOU LIKE PAIN

Apparently these guys do.

ROLLERSKATING NINJAS

Jeff S continues with the martial arts madness. Dig the totally bitchin' soundtrack. Of course, these guys would've been toast if they'd gone after Weng Weng.

OMG! IT'S WENG WENG

Once you've had the Weng Weng nothing else will do. (Thank you Jeff S for this amazing rap/homage video).

WATCH THE BOX...

This news report from Minnesota courtesy Jeff S.

GOT WOOD?

Safe for work... only if the sound is turned off.



Not sure how many new Greenpeace this'll attract but it's certainly a new approach.

THE MESSIAH IS IN DA HOUSE!

Just back from vacation out West. Hope to add the gobs o' stuff I've found on the net soon. Also my theories on why Republicans only support religous doctrine/issues that don't actually cost them anything and other useless thoughts.

In the meantime, Jeff S sends me this moment of zen...

I Think I'm Changing My Vote

Inspired...

See more funny videos at Funny or Die

COULD YOU SURVIVE THE ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE?

Take the test.

I got a:

Physical rating of B
Mental rating of A.
Experience rating of C.
Emotional Rating (integrity) of F.


Which, according to the rating system, means I get a Z+ ...I'm likely to survive the undead onslaught.

Isn't the music creepy.

HITLER'S BUNKER FOUND?

Have you ever noticed how unopoular name Adolph is? One guy has pretty much ruined a perfectly good name for everyone. Charlie Chaplin-style mustaches too.

The bunkers - discovered near the town of Houvig off the Danish coast - are part of 7,000 built by the Nazis as part of Hitler's 'Atlantic Wall' from Norway to the South of France. Expert Tommy Cassoe said: 'It was like entering a pyramid with mummies all around. It is as if the German soldiers had left only yesterday.'

Read about it here.

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GET YOUR WAR ON

Get me on the list!

Brilliant, subversive stuff. I love the comic strip. The video is just as good. Check it out, you won't be sorry. But be careful, it's not safe for work. It says naughty words and provokes political thought.

THE U.S. GOVT JUST GETS CREEPIER AND CREEPIER

Do, The Department Of Homeland Security claims that they can, at borders, confiscate/seize your laptop for any reason, never have to return it to you and can share your data and content with whoomever they like.

Now, don't you feel safer?

Full article here.

SONNET 138 and MORE BEAUTIFUL THINGS TO LOOK AT

Dave McKean is a brilliant and bizarre illstrator / artists / animator. He directed a film called MirrorMask which was lovely to look at but less successful to listen to.

Here's some of his stuff in a purer form. just exquisite.



The Week Before



Doll Face

For The Buffy Fans In The House

I'm one of those geeks who worships at the alter of Joss Whedon. In fact, my pipedream is to one day be a part of his writing team. Doesn't matter what the show is, I just wanna write for him.
And then we'll become best friends and cut our thumbs with my pen knife and do that blood oath/friends-for-life thing and when I die I'll leave some cryptic set of instructions that will send him on a totally crazy cross-country adventure, which he'll do to honor the memory of our friendship. Wacky things will ensue.

Anyway, the further adventures of Buffy The Vampire Slayer was briefly considered to become an animated cartoon. Which sounded pretty darned cool to me. And, of course, it didn't happen. Because Hollywood is a cruel and fickle mistress who gets it on with really annoying assholes who wear lotsa hair gel, have six pack abs and drive much nicer cars than me.

Anyway, here's a nifty sample of what could have been. The cast (minus Sarah Michellle Gellar) returns to provide vocals. The Buffy stand-in (voice-in) is surprisingly good. Enjoy!

Tortoise Hates Cats

'nuff said. Just watch...



http://view.break.com/293055 - Watch more free videos

Still more controversial comments by Jesse Jackson about Barack Obama

YOUR BOOBS ARE A SECURITY RISK

The line between fascism and security is an awfully thin one. Southwest Airlines crossed it. A woman is told by "Keith," a member of Southwest's fashion security detail, that she would not be permitted to fly because her attire was inappropriate.

See the photo. Read the full story.

Check out customers' responses.

My favorite was from "Sandy." No doubt fluuoride has also robbed him/her of his/her precious bodily fluids.

This incident raises my concern about the way women do not think of covering their bodies sufficiently to avoid the possibility of smearing public seats withtheir personal bodily fluids, discharge, etc. In addition to the short skirts, some women wear scanty "string" underwear leaving an almost bare buttocks area directly on the seat covers. This is extremely unsanitary! The limited space in which a passenger must travel on any public transportation is then reduced even more by such occurrences. I applaud, the flight attendant for taking a stand to protect the customer. I applaud Southwest for standing behind its employee and its policy in this matter. I would encourage any further actions by Southwest to continue to move to protect and inform its passengers. I will continue to fly Southwest.

TRIX ARE FOR KIDS, BUT BABY WAS FOR HIM

Check out these incredible Grindhouse / pulp novel versions of breakfast cereals.

Just brilliant!

Sweet Wishes

A short film by Mark Ryden and Marion Peck.

I can't get that wee little tune out of my head.

HEY, BEN STILLER IS STILL FUNNY. WHO'D OF GUESSED?

SORE LOSER

Thanks, Jeff!

SPEAK OF THE DEVIL...

...And the Devil appears. Jeff S just sent me this ... okay, there's no way around it... messed up video of some Japanese TV show. As he mentioned in his email, we are undoubtedly missing some nuance of Japanese culture.

The video gives a whole new meaning to the term "banana sling."

Listen for the 'thump' as the female judge laughs so hard she smacks her head on the table.

FOR AN AUDIENCE OF ONE

This post is for my buddy Jeff Sherwood (who has provided this site some awesome links). I don't know why when I hear Rosicrucions I think Jeff. But I do. I like to think of them as an ancient order of D&D geeks.

This site is for him.

FASHION POST

To paraphrase someone: I don't know good fashion when I see it, but I know what I like.

And I really really like this silver ring made from a real octopus tentacle.

Check out the site. They sell very cool stuff.

However, this ring kinda disturbs me.

Like in an icky not-cool way. It's a replica of the AIDS virus in jewelry form.

I guess nothing says "I love you" like a bejewelled sexually transmitted disease.

OKAY, THIS IS JUST CREEPY

I love The Simpsons. Or, at least, I did love The Simpsons once upon a time (Seasons 3-7). Now, I just sorta like them. But this... this is gonna give me nightmares. I know it.

CONGRATULATIONS MR. VALEDICTORIAN! NOW LEAVE.

Ah, yes, our ever-so humane immigration policies strike again.

This wouldn't have happened if congress had passed the DREAM Act, which would have provided high-achieving high school students who are long-term illegal immigrants, and who wish to serve in the armed forces or attend college to be able to gain legal status.

Oh, wait, it did pass it. But see, 44 Republicans --you know the same Republicans who threatened to end the filibuster-- threatened to filibuster this modestly sane piece of legislation. And so the act went nowhere.

If you think shipping people who have been here since they were infants back to 'where they came from' is sound government policy... well, there's a word for you. It sounds kinda like snapperhead.

Oh wait, it is snapperhead.

HOW WE WENT FROM $22 TO $130 FOR A BARREL OF OIL IN EIGHT YEARS

Well, the simple answer would be Bush/Cheney. I mean, are people really shocked that oil prices have skyrocketed after two corrupt oil men were put into presidential power? You'd have to be blind and brain dead not to see that one coming. Dubya was worth $10 million dollars when he took office. Today he's worth $100 million. Surprise, surprise, surprise.

Anyway, this guy compares our energy policies to Seinfeld's George Costanza. The premise is that when given the choice between two options, George always chose the one with the worst possible outcome. It's a pretty good list of how Constanza-like our country is.

OKAY, HOW ABOUT A LITTLE TEXAS INSANITY FOR A CHANGE

Seems, Houston has solved all its criminal prolems and has moved onto some really serious issues --namely, enforcing their police department's "no beard" policy.

Four black officers filed a federal civil rights lawsuit against the city last November, claiming discrimination because shaving exacerbates a skin condition that disproportionately affects black men.

Pseudofolliculitis barbae is a dermatological condition common among men with thick and curly facial hair. Shaving can cause irritating rashes, ingrown hairs, bleeding and
scarring. Officers with beards are barred from wearing the Houston Police Department uniform. The officers who filed suit were reassigned to plainclothes
jobs.

Read the rest here.

LIFE IN FLORIDA'S CONDO LAND

Most of its what you'd expect. But this one is chock full of Sunshine State goodness.

If you think these rules are silly or extreme, consider a deed-restricted development in Jasper County, near Hilton Head, S.C. In 1998 a developer bought 1,700 acres, a property called Delta Plantation, to subdivide for homes. The official covenants, as recorded in the county auditor's office, say the property may never be sold or leased "to any person or entity that may be described as being part of the Yankee race."

REASON #1026 NOT TO MOVE TO FLORIDA

The Sons of Confederate Veterans wants drivers in the Tampa area to see the massive flag — 30 feet high and 50 feet long — atop a 139-foot pole, the highest the Federal Aviation Authority would allow. It would be lit at night.

Read rest of the travesty... er ... article here

MORE FLORIDA GOODNESS

So, you may wonder why I smash on the Sunshine State. After all it is my native land. Yup, I was born in Miami.

Well, other than the fact that I blame Florida for giving us the neverending horrorshow that is George W. Bush, they are place that profoundly baffles and disturbs me. Is it the endless strip malls? Substandard housing that gets creamed by hurricanes over and over again? Independent state of Disney? Bizarre police-state communities that enforce lawn lengths, house colors and prohibit children? --Which is not only evil in my book but flies in the face of what America stands for.

Well, yeah, I guess it could be those things. But mostly it's that they generate so much f*#cked up news.

Enjoy this new classic...

Florida mother jailed for caging son

WE ARE THE WORLD

As performed by Japanese celebrity impersonators. Just brilliant.