YOU CAN'T MAKE THIS SHIT UP

Sarah Palin 'pardons' a turkey as part of a Thanksgiving Day media event ...then proceeds to chat with reporters as less worthy turkeys are brutally slaughtered behind her.

Oddly enough, it reminds me of that moment in the debates when she completely ignored Joe Biden's story about his losing his wife and child in a car crash.

SARAH PALIN PUNKED!

Some say Palin didn't deserve this. I say, if you cant handle a couple of radio pranksters from Montreal how in the world are you going to handle Al Quaeda?

Of course, all French do sound the same.

Listen and savor the mockery... (loved her response to "I loved the documentary about your life, Nailin' Palin")

THE POSTER THAT INSPIRED A NATION ... OF POSTERS

You all recognize Shepard Fairey's Obama campaign poster (first printings now selling on EBay for $10, 000), yes?

Well, it's inspired an avalanche of outakes, spoofs, political comment and naked racism. Here's a gallery.

Some are brilliant. Some are appalling. Some made me laugh so hard milk spurted out of my nose.

Still, it's fascinating to see how people riff on pop culture at the speed of light.

Here are a few of my faves...

IS SARAH PALIN PULLING FOR OBAMA?

I guess when you spend $150, 000 on wardrobe you don't have time to think about what it is you're actually wearing. (check the scarf)

Local blogger Mark Maynard says, "I suspect there’s a gay salesperson at Saks laughing his ass off right now."

Go Dems!

SARAH PALIN, SMART PEOPLE ARE THE ENEMY

These two articles make a good case for Palin's suspicion and resentment of anyone who might be smarter than her.... which is a whole heckuva lot of people. Let's not forget it took her 6 years in 5 colleges to finally get a Bachelor's degree in Sports Journalism from Idaho State.

But in Sarah's world that's the same as Barack Obama graduating top of his class at Harvard Law, being the first African-American to head up Harvard's Law Review and his subsequent years teaching Constitutional Law. After being raised by a single mom on food stamps.

Anywho, The New Republic has a terrific article called "Barracuda" that offers an eye-opening profile.

Here's an excerpt:

In 1996, Palin was also asserting herself more and more. For example, she'd demand to know why Stein, the mayor, had "raised the budget." Stein and Carney tried to explain that he'd done nothing of the kind--that, when a city grows, businesses collect more in tax revenue, but that new residents also increase demand for public services. Palin wasn't appeased. She'd say things like, "'Oh, okay. Well, that's the way you think about it,'" Stein recalls. "I was thinking--these are things she should know better. Why is she asking me these stupid questions?"

Carney saw ulterior motives. During a break one evening, he stopped Palin as she was heading to the restroom. "Sarah, it sounds like you're running for mayor," he said, half-joking. Palin turned red and became visibly upset. "What makes you say that? I never said I was running for mayor." "You never denied it, " Carney responded. Palin just repeated herself and stomped off.

Within a few months, Palin was officially challenging Stein and exploiting the cultural shift masterfully. She welcomed a national anti-abortion group in to carpet bomb Wasilla with pink postcards affirming her pro-life bona fides. She orchestrated an NRA endorsement and a mailing from the group falsely proclaiming Stein, a lifelong hunter, "anti-gun." (Stein complained to the local newspaper that Palin was telling voters he wanted to "melt down" all the firearms in the state.) And, in a move practically out of
Karl Rove's playbook, she dwelled on how Stein's wife used her maiden name, going so far as to demand a marriage certificate as proof of their nuptials. Palin's campaign literature proclaimed her "deeply devoted to conservative family values"--all in the context of an ostensibly nonpartisan election. (Stein himself was a moderate Republican.)

And then there's Andrew Sullivan's observation that:

Here's one way to look at the question: how has Palin brought up her own kids? Her eldest son is a high-school drop-out. Her eldest daughter has had, so far as one can tell from press reports, very uneven attendance in high school, and no plans for college. Her other daughters seem to spend a lot of time traveling the country with their mom at tax-payers' expense. I've seen them at several rallies with the Palins this fall. Are they not in school?

The least one can say is that none of her children seems to have been brought up thinking that college is something to aspire to. And her new son-in-law just dropped out of high school as well.

What makes people think this woman should be allowed anywhere near the White House? She's the Tanya Harding of politics. Except instead of working her ass off relentlessly to become a world class skater only to throw it all away by stabbing a teammate in the back, Palin skipped straight to the backstabbing part.

Look, I can sorta understand why Budweiser dudes want to bang her. She's got that naughty librarian thing going on. Go ahead, bang the hell out of her. Just don't vote for her.

P.S. It astounds me that Sarh Palin claims she's just like "small town" folks yet spends $150K in two short months on clothes for her campaign. That's as much as the average American makes in 4 years. Explain to me how she's just like Joe Six Pack?

IT WAS INEVITABLE

Hustler is to release "Nailin’ Paylin." What's it about? Well, what do you think it's about. Truth be told, I'd rather guys buy this video than vote for that imbecilic freak.

...Jerry T. is set to direct, and porn star Lisa Ann will be taking on the role of Palin—er, “Paylin.” According to HUSTLER, “Nailin’ Paylin” is a “naughty adventure to the wild side of that sexy Alaska governor,” featuring “girl-on-girl lovin’,” “nailing the Russians, who come knocking on her back-door,” and a younger Palin getting seduced by her creationist college professor who “will explain a ‘big bang’ theory even she can’t deny!” Also included: a three-way hardcore sex scene starring porn stars as Palin/Paylin, Hillary Clinton, and Condoleezza Rice. Of course, no political porn satire would be complete without a salute to Fox News—a Bill O’Reilly stand-in will announce the movie’s multiple sex scandals as they unfold.

Here's a taste of the script:

(Open on the PALIN residence, Wasilla, Alaska. Evening. Governor SARAH PALIN is sitting on the couch, reading "all of the magazines." She is wearing a satin negligee and bunny slippers. Her luxurious brown hair is in a bun. Her glasses rest just so on the bridge of her nose. TODD is out of town on business. TRIGG is peacefully asleep upstairs. There is a firm knock at the door. PALIN puts down her reading material and goes to answer it.)

PALIN: Who is it?
GRUFF MALE VOICE: It's JOE, the tanning-bed repairman.

(PALIN unlocks the door and opens it)

PALIN: Hiya! You were supposed to be here two hours ago, doncha know?
JOE: I'm sorry. My snowmobile broke down outside of Matunska. I had to walk the rest of the way.
PALIN: Well, you're in luck. I just baked a batch of chocolate-chip cookies. Why don't you come inside and I'll fix you a plate of 'em?

(JOE obliges. He takes a seat on the couch. PALIN enters the kitchen and returns shortly after with the cookies. She gives them to JOE, but not before looking him up and down.)

PALIN: My oh my. That's quite a toolbelt you have on. It looks heavy.
JOE: I have a big hammer.
PALIN: Oh, I betcha do. I love a big hammer. But I love screwdrivers, too! And wrenches. The fact is I love and respect all of America's diverse tools, big and small. They're what helps make us so great as a nation. Here, let me take that off for ya.

(PALIN takes a seat on the coach beside JOE and starts to undo his belt. He stops her.)

JOE: Let's go take a look at the tanning bed first.
PALIN: Oooh, okay.

(PALIN leads JOE to the tanning salon in the basement. JOE carefully inspects the machine.)

JOE: Looks like there are just a bunch of screws loose.
PALIN: (seductively) You're in luck. I fully support off-shore and on-shore drilling.

(PALIN pounces on JOE and throws him onto the top of the tanning bed. She quickly rips off his jeans.)

PALIN: God almighty! You are hung like a moose. Now I have to eat ya!
JOE: I'm bigger than a moose. Do you have any contraceptives?
PALIN: It's okay. I already took a morning-after pill.
JOE: Um, are you sure it works that way?
PALIN: Are you asking me if I know what a morning-after pill is? Because I totally do! I'll get back to ya with specifics.

(The two proceed to make furious love in a multitude of positions. PALIN amply demonstrates that she has enough experience.)

PALIN: Fuck me harder! HARDER! Pound me until my head is so empty that I can't even remember the name of the one Supreme Court case I actually know! I want it to burn. Burn like a banned book. Oh God, Oh God, OH MY GOD! MAKE ME SEE RUSSIA FROM HERE!

THE GOOD WILL THAT ELECTION SEASON BRINGS

With all this talk about the Pro-American and Real American regions in our country why is it always Republican supporters who commit acts of violence and vandalism, and say the most awful things? Funny that. I guess that's just the way 'real Americans' express their patriotism.

Here are a few heart warming tales from the front...

1- Voting machines malfunctioning. Who woulda guessed? Explanation... the machines have problems with humidity. Good thing they're in a state like Florida, huh?

2- Obama sign replaced with a Confederate flag. Stay classy, Chester, Virginia!

3- Chicago Tribune endorses first Democrat for President. Ever.

4- Sarah Palin unable to correctly answer a third grader's question: What does the Vice President do? Apparently no one's told her yet.

5- RNC spends $150K on Palin's campaign wardrobe. Now there's someone who understands the plight of people struggling on a middle class income!

6- Guy in Ohio lynches Obama in effigy. Stay classy, Mike Lundsford!

7- Al Jazeera interviews Palin supporters. You don't see this on CNN.



8- So, who attends a Sarah Palin rally? Watch the video to witness how real Americans act. Don't you just love the guy who thinks Obama is a monkey? I think I just threw up in my mouth.




9- Finally, just who are the 15% of Americans who think the country is on the right track.

FUNNY... AND OH-SO TRUE

I'm not the biggest Family Guy fan (I always preferred The Simpsons) but I just may have to give the show another chance.

Plus, who knew Nazis loved caricatures so much?

Love the laser blast.

SCARE THE HELL OUT OF YOUR FRIENDS

Show up at your liberal friend's Halloween costume party in one of these and you're guaranteed to make them pee their pants.

Make children cry, animals cower under furniture and the unAmerican parts of America quake in fear.

Free downloads of these mask are available right here. Get 'em while the getting's good!

FEEL SAFER?

Below are a cluster of stories that further convince how insane our country and, in particular, our government has become under George Bush and the Republicans. See, in the name of safety, we have allowed these thugs to corrupt the basic principles of civic rights and undermine the concept of a free and respectful society.

As an added bonus I've included more evidence as to why Republicans are not to be trusted. Ever.

1- Fourth grader suspended from school for possessing a broken pencil sharper. No, really.

The boy -- a fourth-grader described as a well-behaved and good student -- cried during the meeting with his mom, the deputy and the school's assistant principal.

Here's the police report for this insanity.

2- Police conduct baseless no-knock marijuana raid on home, throw family on the floor at gun point and kill their two labrador retrievers.

Turns out it's the home of Cheye Calvo, mayor of Berwyn Heights, Maryland. Listen to a podcast of the chilling events.

3- Michigan Republicans try to take away your vote if your house goes into foreclosure. Gee, guess which population is most vulnerable? Is there no limit to how low these scumbags will stoop to steal an election?

"We will have a list of foreclosed homes and will make sure people aren’t voting from those addresses,” party chairman James Carabelli told Michigan Messenger in a telephone interview earlier this week

Simply dispicable.

4- House burns to the ground in Texas after officials turn off the hydrants to protect community from potential terrorists.

5- I mentioned it a couple of days ago but Sarah Palin's town, Wasilla, used to charge rape victims to have evidence gathered. It was the ONLY community in Alaska to do this and it became policy after she became Mayor. It took the state's legislature and Tony Knowles, the Democratic governor she defeated, to finally ban this appalling practice. Palin's hand-picked police chief was quoted as being displeased with the ban. Gee, what a feminist.

SIMPLE AND TO THE POINT



And only a small sample what's wrong with this frightening candidate. Like, did you know she supported requiring rape victims to pick up the cost of their rape testing kits. Nice. Or maybe that she was overheard at a local diner saying, "Sambo beat the bitch," when Barack Obama beat Hillary Clinton.

Nothing says partiot like a corrupt, bigoted, insensitive, Christian fascist.

BUST A MOVE FOR JESUS

Footage from the church that Sarah Palin attends in Alaska. The same one that said Jews are damned to hell... with her in attendance. How many weeks were we subjected to Jeremiah Wright? Where's the news coverage on the Sarah Barracuda's antiSemitic relgious leader?

Wasilla Assembly of God Clip

EVER WONDER WHAT TV COMMENTATORS SAY WHEN THE CAMERA ISN'T ON THEM ANYMORE? WONDER NO MORE!

Rightwing Reagan speechwriter and partisan scold Peggy Noonan thinks Palin is the nail in John McCain's political coffin and expresses real anger over the choice. Off camera, of course. On camera she's an aging cheerleader.

Enjoy!

WHO IS SARAH PALIN?

Other than John McCain's Hail Mary attempt to get elected.

Well, she wants creationism taught in High School science classes.

http://blog.wired.com/wiredscience/2008/08/mccains-vp-want.html

Thinks polar bears shouldn't get a 'threatened species' designation because it might slow down oil drilling.

http://blog.wired.com/27bstroke6/2008/08/john-mccain-pic.html

Caused the 'city' she was mayor of to spend nearly ten times the amount it might have paid for a sports complex... because she allowed it to be built on someone else's land ...then tried to seize it through eminent domain.

http://www.adn.com/matsu/story/474934.html

And appointed a sexual harrasser as the head of Alaska's Department of Public Safety

http://andrewsullivan.theatlantic.com/the_daily_dish/2008/08/palin-appointed.html

But really, the fact is, she's 44 years old, has no practical national political experience, would be one hearbeat away from becoming president to the oldest elected president in our country (God forbid), would continue undermining laws to benefit the oil industry, left her former hometown's finances in a shambles, admitted to not knowing what a vice president does in an interview two years ago, and is under investigation for abusing the power of her office.

The horrifying thing? She'll probably get elected.