WOMAN MOST LIKELY TO GET A BAG OF FLAMING POO ON HER DOORSTEP

It's rare that you get to see a real witch on Halloween.

This one lives in Grosse Pointe Farms, about 45 miles from my home.

Watch...

SCARE THE HELL OUT OF YOUR FRIENDS

Show up at your liberal friend's Halloween costume party in one of these and you're guaranteed to make them pee their pants.

Make children cry, animals cower under furniture and the unAmerican parts of America quake in fear.

Free downloads of these mask are available right here. Get 'em while the getting's good!

THIS GUY IS AMAZING

All Hallow's Eve is coming.

I linked to this guy in my blog last year but he's so damn good I had to do it again.

It kinda makes my badly hewn triangular eyes, nose and mouth jack-o-lanterns look pretty pathetic.

Good thing I use real human heads.