ONLY IN FLORIDA

The blessed place of my birth. For some reason after I left all the freaks moved in. And then they got George Bush installed as President. Man, I hate that place.

1. Woman arrested for hitting self with frying pan. Huh? (with mugshot goodness)
2. "Please close your legs, sir." Man arrested for Xmas peep show.
3. Oh, the shoe-manity!
4. For thosetimes when you want to send the right message may I suggest urine?
5. She says: I was fired 'cuz I said Merry Christmas. He says: She was fired because she's a crazy bitch.

Of course, in Oregon, where I lived for nearly a decade, the locals are mad of sterner stuff. Case in point, this headline:

"Oregon woman, 88, fends off naked intruder by grabbing the man's crotch and squeezing."

Man, I miss Portland.