BABY POLICE

This one's got foreign language Oscar written all over it...

THEY DON'T END MOVIES LIKE THIS ANYMORE...

Flames.
Swing music.
A swimming pool.
Esther Williams.

What more do you need?

THE RING... AS PERFORMED BY CHIMPS

It's kinda cute and kinda creepy at the same time. Oy! What will those Japanese come up with next?

30 ROCK... THE PORNO

Nothing says "success" like a porn send-up.

AMERICAN PSYCHO meets THIS MUST BE THE PLACE

As far as homage music videos go this one is the sh%t.

Miles Fisher is a lesser-known actor who does a great job of evoking Christian Bale's iconic performance.

He also did a great job of sending up Tom Cruise in the execrable Superhero Movie.

Anywho, I like this video and I like the cover tune. Check it out... please.

Jesus H Christ!

I always wondered what the "H" was for.

Anywho...

In the sprawling suburb of Livonia, MI, there's a city council race and apparently bat-shit crazy Glenn Moon is running for office. Now, I've never met Glenn but after watching his campaign video I feel fairly confident in my assessment that he's part of insane party.

INGMAR BERGMAN - IN PRAISE OF COMMERCIALS

These are courtesy of my friend Steffen. Supposedly Bergman called these commercials by director Roy Andersson the best in the world. Not sure I'd go that far but I certainly do like 'em!

MOLLY RINGWALD: ON JOHN HUGHES

The star of Sixteen Candles (and the girl I had a serious crush on when I was 18) writes a poignant and moving editorial about John Hughes. Damn, I have a crush all over again.

Read it here.

WAY COOL COMMERCIAL...

I think it's for the French Postal Service. Forgive me, I don't speak French. Still, watch the Mac laptop turn into a cool-ass spaceship.

A WOODEN MIRROR

Freaky and incredible. Watch the video then go to this site to learn how it works.

I really really want to see one of these up close. I also imagine a cool music video using the wooden images is in the works.

80's POP MEETS RAGTIME

If you ever wondered what "Don't You Love Me" would sound like if Scott Joplin wrote it, wonder no more...

OKAY THIS IS CREEPY...

The video is called Fucking Hell. It's by British conceptual artists Jake and Dinos Chapman, who created this lovely sculpture. Check it out.

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APPARENTLY BEN STILLER IS REALLY EXCITED TO JOIN FOX STUDIOS

When you're as rich as he is you can blow a whole lotta cash on stuff like this...

DIAMOND DAVE GOES BLUEGRASS

Van Halen the way it was meant to be heard... as Ozark-ified goodness. Man, I can't wait for the album... Strummin With The Devil.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT ROTTWEILER SAID...

...but it sure pissed off that cat.

(hey, I'm back from vacation and ready to post!)

I HOPE THE RECEPTION WASW HALF AS FUN AS THE CEREMONY...

Those Minnesotans! This St. Paul wedding party clearly had a damn good time making a one-of-a-kind entrance.

IF ONLY THE REST OF THE FILM LIVED UP TO ITS OPENING

This is from Ghost Ship, a mediocre horror film with an outrageously concocted opening scene. It actually goes giddy with violence for another 3-4 minutes before moving to modern times and just generally sucking.

THESE PEOPLE ARE FREAKIN' HEROES!

THE BEST JUGGLING ROUTINE I'VE EVER SEEN...

Not because he wows you with what he can do. Not because he uses dangerous objects. But because he turns something that is typically clownish into something artistic and expressive. Seriously. Check it out...

HOW DID I MISS THIS ONE?

Best movie trailer evah! Get before you been got.
Uhura? WTF?

AMAZING PHOTO ESSAY

And I mean AMAZING. This collection of 20 photos of places on Earth that seem like alien landscapes is truly stunning. Don't miss it.

And FYI, the included picture is from Oregon. Yeah. Wow.

EXTREME ACCORDIAN

Courtesy Oleg Sharov, the original dude of the accordian...

BUZZ ALDRIN PUNCHES MOON LANDING DENIER

Maybe we could convince him to kick the crap out of a few Holocaust deniers as well...

CHEECH & CHONG DISCUSS THE ECONOMY

And when they disagree they go all Tron on each other's ass.

...which I would love to embed but it won't allow me. So, go here and watch it.


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FIRST PERSON SHOOTER DISEASE

All they need is Sally Struthers asking, "Won't you give?"

SO WRONG... YET, SO RIGHT

My son was briefly into Duck Tales and my God how I hated that opening song. The show was, well, mediocre Disney for TV. This version is so much better...

Though there's no way in hell I'd let me son see it!

LOVE THIS

The video choreography in this is just wonderful... and it actually gets better as it goes along. What I particularly love is how it illustrates the landscape of creativity that the Internet is offering, creating a cultural language and expression that is unique, collaborative and adaptable.

Enjoy!

BATMAN DRANK TOO MUCH ICE TEA

This is damn funny.

Batman: Number One - watch more funny videos

MONEY'S EYE MUDDISH BY DESIGN

He's very passionate about...something. "ALICE ALICE GET MORE PIE"

This cannot be explained. Well, except by Germans. But you should watch it.

CREEPY ADS

Retro Comedy gathers the 15 Creepiest Ads Of All Time.

And they are. Really.

THE GREATEST BULLSHIT STORY EVER TOLD

I really miss George Carlin.

EVEN MEMBERS OF SARAH PALIN'S STAFF ARE CRAZY

I love listening Anderson Cooper puzzle over Meg Stapleton's basketball analogy... which makes no sense.

God, the sooner we are done with this woman the better off we'll all be. I blame you, John McCain. Not only did you throw away what little respect people had for you but you unleashed this hillbilly power-hungry mental midget on our nation. I mean, she actually seems to believe that getting elected to political office is akin to winning American Idol.

Hitler finds out Michael Jackson has died

It's the movie clip that keeps on giving. I wonder how the filmmakers feel about it?

WHAT. IS. UP. WITH. THE. JAPANESE?

This is insane. Just utterly insane.

BEFORE THEY WERE FAMOUS

Can you guess who they are? Well, of course, you don't have to guess. The vids tell you.

1.



2.



3.



4.



1. Sarah Michelle Gellar 2. Leonardo DiCaprio 3. Ben Affleck 4. John Travolta

MOTHER UCKERS

The genius of Flight Of The Conchords. I needed something like these to break up the tedium of my work day. Luckily, I work from home so I don't have to worry about whether it was safe for work.

It's not. But that shouldn't stop you from enjoying the hell out of these hilarious tunes.

Hiphopopotamus vs. Rhymenoceros (There ain't no party like my nana's tea party)



"Does the space cold make your nipples go pointy? "



LADIES OF THE WORLD



Probably the best way to ask for, well, you know... anal sex...



LEGGY BLONDE (the office equipment solo is awesome)



Best for last: It's Business Time

ON A DJANGO REINHARDT KICK...

Enjoy the hell out these. I certainly have.

MJ RIP

JOHN HODGEMAN TESTS OBAMA'S NERD CREDENTIALS

Wonderful! And the three part answer is:

1. Shai-Hulud

2. A Thumper

3. The Water of Life

TOOTHPICK S.F.

Okay, this is pretty amazing. And Ripley's Believe It Or Not should be ashamed they only offered the guy $40K. It took him 34 years to make it!

I'm not ashamed to admit...

...this story made me cry.

WHAT I REALLY WANTED FOR FATHER'S DAY

Anybody want to spend $3500 to make me a very happy dad?

Didn't think so.

Still, I've always wanted to open a wine bar called Macabre, where tables were made from tombstones and classic Universal horror films constantly ran on B&W TV screens and, man, wouldn't this couch look so great in that setting?

WHEN THE MUPPETS WERE BAD

Check out these incredibly violent commercials created in the late 50s by Jim Henson. I always knew there was a dark side to Kermit and the gang.

OBAMA'S DOG VS THE PRESS

The dog wins!

EVERYBODY KEEPS CALLING ME S

Prague's Franz Kafka International Named World's Most Alienating Airport. Brilliant!



Prague's Franz Kafka International Named World's Most Alienating Airport

LOVE LOVE LOVE THIS...

Stop action goodness. Watch and feel the filmmaking love...

MORE WEIRDNESS FROM JAPAN

Nice Muscle! All I gotta say is thong-wearing polar bears. Courtesy my pal, Jeff S.

AND IN OTHER NEWS...

1. Openly gay teen voted prom queen by his high school. Guess which anti-gay marriage state this occured in. Here come the pundits, Mormon cash infusions and that freaky web commercial about storms gathering. Watch the parody... (guest starring George Takei)



2. Wikipedia bans Church of Scientology. Yeah! Here come the lawyers. And Thetans.

3. Wonder what important issues Wasilla newspapers are covering? Will the Anti-Christ be Will from Will And Grace? Now we know which papers Sarah Palin was talking about when she said she reads "all of them."

THE COOLEST MURALS I'VE EVER SEEN...

I mean, the coolest.

Evah!

Seriously.

Wish I could get one painted on the side of my house....

See 'em here.

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LADYBUG PICNIC

Love this classic from Sesame Street. I love that they sat around telling knock-knock jokes. I love even more that they complained about the high price of fire insurance.

Man, I miss enjoying this show the way I did when I was five. There are very few pure experiences that I remember. Sesame Street is one of them.

TONKA TORTOISE

What can I say? I'm a sucker for animal stories.

Check this one out and go "awwww!"

THEME FROM PHANTOM OF THE OPERA

I used to be obsessed with this tune as a kid. If I saw these women perform it, I can only imagine how deep that obsession would have gone.

Enjoy!

(and, yes, I know it's Tocata en Fugue)

NOT COMING TO A THEATER NEAR YOU

One the one hand, this fan created trailer for a Green Lantern movie starring Nathan Fillion is a comic geek's wet dream. It's incredibly well-executed, using footage from Firefly, Star Trek, etc. Plus I love that it boldly demonstrates how copy protections stifle creativity that harms no one.

On the other hand, the sheer level of geekry makes me uncomfortable. Not because the creator obviously spent incredible hours putting this thing together but because I really really enjoyed it.

EVERYTHING YOU WANTED TO KNOW ABOUT ORGASMS BUT WERE AFRAID TO ASK

I love TED Talks. They can easily suck up my time, filling my mind with new and innovative ways of looking at the word. It's like intellectual popcorn.

Here Mary Roach fills you in (no pun intended) on the 10 THings You Didn't Know About Orgasms.

Watch and learn...

ARE YOU REALLY SCHOOLED IN FACEBOOK ETIQUETTE?

Watch and learn, my padwans...

THE SITE MOVIE GOERS HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR

You're watching a great movie and suddenly you have to pee. You put if off. After all, you don't want to miss any cool action scenes, hilariosu jokes or juicy plot revelations. But the pressure in your bladder just keeps growing and growing. Pain radiates throughout your nether regions. You've really really gotta go.

RunPee.com is the answer.

The website suggests the best moments to make a dash to the bathroom and even fill you in on what you've missed. It's the kind of web servies that almosts makes me wish I had an iPhone. But then I remember, I'm a critic. I see movies 2 weeks before everyone else. The site is useless to me.

But maybe for you, it will mean a happy movie-going experience and a happy bladder.

THE HISTORY OF WEED COURTESY OF WEEDS

I'm no toker but our country's laws against cannibis and, particularly hemp, seem moronic and irrational in the extreme. The idea that anyone is in prison at all for smoking or selling pot just seems like the biggest waste of public resources and abuse of justice. Pot is clearly no more dangerous than alcohol. I'd even argue it's less so.

I mean, I know my argument is anecdotal but I have never seen a pothead get belligerent and beat his wife and kids or indulge in a bit of gay bashing. Sure, 7-Elevens will probably see an uptick in munchies being shoplifted, but I hardly think we should be enforcing draconian laws to protect us from Pringles robbers

Anyway, time to get off my soapbox. Enjoy!

JESSE VENTURA TALKS THE TRUTH

ACOUSTIC ROCK FOR US GEEKS

That's all I have to say. Love the lyrics. Especially toward the end.

JIMMY KIMMEL IS MY HERO

And if he still has a job with ABC by the end of the week I'll be incredibly surprised. Still, a moment of honesty is a glorious thing, ain't it?

Bouncing onto the stage at just after 4 p.m., Mr. Kimmel self-deprecatingly declared, “All of ABC’s late night comedy talent is assembled here on one stage.” After rattling off a few statistics about the affluence of his viewers, he then admitted that he’d made all the numbers up. (He said so in a more obscene way.)

Then, in a “Jerry Maguire”-like moment of clarity, Mr. Kimmel said, “Everything you’re going to hear this week is” nonsense. “Let’s get real here. Let’s get Dr. Phil-real here. These new fall shows? We’re going to cancel about 90 percent of them. Maybe more.” If ABC is so confident in its new fall shows, he asked, why is it announcing them at the same time it announces the midseason shows that will replace those fall shows? “This show ‘Shark Tank’ has the word tank right in the title,” he said

To the ABC advertisers, Mr. Kimmel said, “Every year we lie to you and every year you come back for more. You don’t need an upfront. You need therapy. We completely lie to you, and then you pass those lies onto your clients.”

Read the rest here.

IF YOU SEE ONLY ONE FILM THIS SUMMER...

See "Everyone Poops"

STAR WARS GEEKS JEALOUS OF NEW STAR TREK MOVIE

I guess this is a pretty clever response. It still doesn't change the fact that Star Trek is soooo much better than the last 4 Star Wars flicks (including the execrable Clone Wars movie).

BEST BANK COMMERCIAL EVAH!

Seriously, this is brilliant stuff. Man, I wish american TV were this daring. Strange that the only country on Earth with the guaranteed right to free speech would never allow a commercial like this to be shown.

COME ON, YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO SEE THIS...

As a film critic I can tell you my job would be so much easier if all I had to review were films like Mega Shark Vs Giant Octopus. Heck, the review practically writes itself.

And with stars like Lorenzo Lamas and Debbie Gibson, you know Oscar nominations are going to come calling early!

THE ULTIMATE PANTSING

I really love this. Why Levi's hasn't built a commercial around these guys I'll never know...

IT'S RON'S DICK. MINUS RON.

Just saw this trailer. Must see this movie. One-Eyed Monster.

I LOVE ME SOME GOOD MASHUP

Eclectic Method's tribute to Quentin Tarrantino. Damn yummy!

OKAY, THIS IS PRETTY DAMN COOL

Guy launches his 36 ft model rocket.

JAPANESE HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE AD

I've said it before. I'll say it again. I just don't get Japanese culture. But I sure do like it.

SPOILER ALERT

Again, courtesy The Daily What.

ANOTHER HOMAGE TO SWINE FLU

WINNIE THE FLU

Courtesy The Daily What.

Of COARSE AS FAR AS I KNOW, AMERICAN COPS AREN'T OFFICIALLY TAUGHT HOW TO BEAT UP PEOPLE WITHOUT LEAVING INCRIMINATING EVIDENCE

...like the Chinese. Their police training manual just got leaked on the Internet and reveals that cops are taught how to abuse prisoners and get away with it,

Yup, pretty much what you'd expect from a country with serious human rights issues. But, heck, what would WalMat be without their products? Nothing to see here. Move on.

THE VIOLENCE INHERENT IN THE SYSTEM

In case you're off the Internet outrage circuit, here's another example of law enforcement using tasers to subdue essentially harmless people. This guy's great crime? Being naked at Coachella and refusing to put his clothes back on. What's really disturbing is how they start administering shocks to his face and head for no apparent reason. I hope these assholes seriously pay. But I'm too cynical to believe that anything will happen to them at all.

Once the rubber gloves go on it gets ugly.

Warning, pot belly and penis on full display!

Waterboarding Memo Unplugged

There's a special place in hell for John Yoo.

DICK OF THE MONTH CLUB

Not a person but a rental management company. The mother of a popular special education teacher is harassed by his former landlord to pay late rental fees and, get this, an early termination fee after he's murdered.

The complete blackhearted asshole-ishness of some people can be astounding. But, hey, according to libertarians the unseen hand of the marketplace will cure all society's ills.

Read about the ghoulish scumbags at CCRT Properties in Brookfield, Wisconsin right here.

THE MOST AMAZING SCRABBLE COMMERCIALS EVAH!

God, I love these commercials. Which is a pretty odd thing to say, I know. But these cross over the line between craven marketing and artistic inspiration. If half the ads on TV were this creative people would hit the fast forward on their DVR a whole lot less.

Eat 'em up, yum!





And, actually, here's another nifty one...

WONDERUL WONDERFUL WONDERFUL

Watch this video then watch how it was made. Absolutely fascinating. Oh, and did I mention, wonderful?

I LOVE STEPHEN COLBERT

A storm is coming...

The Colbert Report	Mon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c
The Colbert Coalition's Anti-Gay Marriage Ad
colbertnation.com
Colbert Report Full Episodes Political Humor Gay Marriage Commercial

DISTURBING STROKES

If you ever doubted the importance of a movie soundtrack and what it can bring to the final production, watch this version of the title sequence for the sitcom Different Strokes (thanks Jeff S!).

Tell me if Conrad Bain doesn't come off as a child molester luring Gary Coleman and his brother into his torture chamber high rise apartment.

Whachoo talkin' about? Ewww.

IF REAL LIFE WERE A MUSICAL

Now, if you know me, you know how I'm essentially allergic to musicals. And in particluar, I've always hated The Sound Of Music. Bo-ring!

BUT then I get sent this video and, well, maybe the world be a little more interesting if people just randomly burst into song and dance throughout life.

Here's the thing... If this had happened in a US train station you just know law enforcement or TSA would open fire, believing it was a terrorist attack.

WE POISONED THEIR ASSES. BINARY SOLO.

More Conchords loveliness.

ASK ABOUT YOUR CONSITUTIONAL RIGHTS? THAT'S A JAILIN'

Now, I'm no Fox News troll but this story of a guy detained byu the TSA for having too muc cash is ridiculous. Worse, listening to their threats against him is even worse. Welcome to America 2.0... otherwise known as, well, Thuggery 1.0

AH, YES, ANOTHER RIGHT WINGNUT HIT

Were you listening to OBama's inauguration speech? Were you listening carefully? Not carefully enough. If you had been you would have heard the part where he told us all to serve Satan.
Yup, that's right. You lefties just don't get what's at stake here!

Watch this and all will be revealed!

THE BEGINNING OF THE END?

Okay, this is just plain scary... global warming exacts its latest toll.

BEAUTIFUL BEAUTIFUL BEAUTIFUL

Andrew Bird plays in Ann Arbor this week and for 5 weeks I have been searching for a ticket to this sold out show. I can't tell you how bummed I am to be missing this. I don't get to go to shows much anymore (small kids do that to you) and this is the first one I've truly pined for. I've been into his music since I hear Lull, about 6 years ago. Now he's the bees knees for a whole lotta Johnny-come-lately's.

Ah, well. Maybe next time. Maybe.

THE COCK SHOT SAGA CONTINUES

So, Jeff S has uncovered more of tasty tidbits about the Cock Shot inspiring work of Vince Shlomi. Turns out Vince of Slap Chop and Sham Wow fame did a little slapping and shamming to a prostitute. What does this teach us? That my best bud Jeff S has just the right amount of Internet OCD to make my blog fun.

Read the sordid details here.

COCK SHOT INSPIRATION

Jeff S discovered the origins of the Cock Shot parody.




Personally, I prefer the cock salad version.

WATERSHIP DOWN? NOPE. CAT SHIT ONE.


WTF?

LEAF MONKEYS ARE REALLY REALLY CUTE. WHO KNEW?

Did I mention how really cute they are?

NO LOVER OF GUNS AM I...

In fact, my discomfort with our nation's current gun laws recently got me out of jury duty (along with my knowledge of DNA).

But even I gotta admit that these photos of stuff getting blasted by a bullet are pretty damn cool.

BEST PAPERCLIP EVAH!!!

That's all I'm gonna say. Check it out here.

GERMAN SERIAL KILLER TURNS OUT TO BE BAD QUALITY CONTROL

This story is just a wee bit embarassing for the German police... especially because the French authorities figured it out. Probably while eating brie and sipping Chardonnay.

OKAY, THIS EYE FOR AN EYE THING IS BEING TAKEN TOO LITERALLY

It's the old story of a guy asks a chick to marry him, she says "no," he throws sulfuric acid at her, she takes him to court and gets permission to pour acid in his eyes.

I think the story was originally made popular on Three's Company.

Read it here if you don't believe me...

I WANT ONE BUT ONLY BECAUSE IT INCLUDES 9 JESUS CARDS

THE BEST PAUL KRUGMAN SONG I'VE EVER HEARD

See if you don't agree...

EXTREME BORDER COLLIES

Wales. Sheep. Astonishment. Three words you'd never think would go together. And yet this YouTube video proves just how true it is. Watch and smile.

CHILD-FRIENDLY CONTENT FOR A CHANGE

All I can say is "yum!"

THE WATCHMEN - SATURDAY MORNING CARTOON

Okay, this is one of those jokes that only works if you know the graphic novel or newly released movie.

THE GIRL WITH THE EPILEPTIC DOG

Brabbra vs Barbara. Brilliant. Funny. Catchy.