SORE LOSER
Thanks, Jeff!
Monday, June 23, 2008
Monday, June 02, 2008
SPEAK OF THE DEVIL...
...And the Devil appears. Jeff S just sent me this ... okay, there's no way around it... messed up video of some Japanese TV show. As he mentioned in his email, we are undoubtedly missing some nuance of Japanese culture.
The video gives a whole new meaning to the term "banana sling."
Listen for the 'thump' as the female judge laughs so hard she smacks her head on the table.
...And the Devil appears. Jeff S just sent me this ... okay, there's no way around it... messed up video of some Japanese TV show. As he mentioned in his email, we are undoubtedly missing some nuance of Japanese culture.
The video gives a whole new meaning to the term "banana sling."
Listen for the 'thump' as the female judge laughs so hard she smacks her head on the table.
FOR AN AUDIENCE OF ONEThis post is for my buddy Jeff Sherwood (who has provided this site some awesome links). I don't know why when I hear Rosicrucions I think Jeff. But I do. I like to think of them as an ancient order of D&D geeks.
This site is for him.
FASHION POSTTo paraphrase someone: I don't know good fashion when I see it, but I know what I like.
And I really really like this silver ring made from a real octopus tentacle.
Check out the site. They sell very cool stuff.
Like in an icky not-cool way. It's a replica of the AIDS virus in jewelry form.
I guess nothing says "I love you" like a bejewelled sexually transmitted disease.
CONGRATULATIONS MR. VALEDICTORIAN! NOW LEAVE.
Ah, yes, our ever-so humane immigration policies strike again.
This wouldn't have happened if congress had passed the DREAM Act, which would have provided high-achieving high school students who are long-term illegal immigrants, and who wish to serve in the armed forces or attend college to be able to gain legal status.
Oh, wait, it did pass it. But see, 44 Republicans --you know the same Republicans who threatened to end the filibuster-- threatened to filibuster this modestly sane piece of legislation. And so the act went nowhere.
If you think shipping people who have been here since they were infants back to 'where they came from' is sound government policy... well, there's a word for you. It sounds kinda like snapperhead.
Oh wait, it is snapperhead.
Ah, yes, our ever-so humane immigration policies strike again.
This wouldn't have happened if congress had passed the DREAM Act, which would have provided high-achieving high school students who are long-term illegal immigrants, and who wish to serve in the armed forces or attend college to be able to gain legal status.
Oh, wait, it did pass it. But see, 44 Republicans --you know the same Republicans who threatened to end the filibuster-- threatened to filibuster this modestly sane piece of legislation. And so the act went nowhere.
If you think shipping people who have been here since they were infants back to 'where they came from' is sound government policy... well, there's a word for you. It sounds kinda like snapperhead.
Oh wait, it is snapperhead.
HOW WE WENT FROM $22 TO $130 FOR A BARREL OF OIL IN EIGHT YEARS
Well, the simple answer would be Bush/Cheney. I mean, are people really shocked that oil prices have skyrocketed after two corrupt oil men were put into presidential power? You'd have to be blind and brain dead not to see that one coming. Dubya was worth $10 million dollars when he took office. Today he's worth $100 million. Surprise, surprise, surprise.
Anyway, this guy compares our energy policies to Seinfeld's George Costanza. The premise is that when given the choice between two options, George always chose the one with the worst possible outcome. It's a pretty good list of how Constanza-like our country is.
Sunday, June 01, 2008
OKAY, HOW ABOUT A LITTLE TEXAS INSANITY FOR A CHANGE
Seems, Houston has solved all its criminal prolems and has moved onto some really serious issues --namely, enforcing their police department's "no beard" policy.
Read the rest here.
Seems, Houston has solved all its criminal prolems and has moved onto some really serious issues --namely, enforcing their police department's "no beard" policy.
Four black officers filed a federal civil rights lawsuit against the city last November, claiming discrimination because shaving exacerbates a skin condition that disproportionately affects black men.
Pseudofolliculitis barbae is a dermatological condition common among men with thick and curly facial hair. Shaving can cause irritating rashes, ingrown hairs, bleeding and
scarring. Officers with beards are barred from wearing the Houston Police Department uniform. The officers who filed suit were reassigned to plainclothes
jobs.
Read the rest here.
LIFE IN FLORIDA'S CONDO LAND
Most of its what you'd expect. But this one is chock full of Sunshine State goodness.
Most of its what you'd expect. But this one is chock full of Sunshine State goodness.
If you think these rules are silly or extreme, consider a deed-restricted development in Jasper County, near Hilton Head, S.C. In 1998 a developer bought 1,700 acres, a property called Delta Plantation, to subdivide for homes. The official covenants, as recorded in the county auditor's office, say the property may never be sold or leased "to any person or entity that may be described as being part of the Yankee race."
REASON #1026 NOT TO MOVE TO FLORIDA
Read rest of the travesty... er ... article here
The Sons of Confederate Veterans wants drivers in the Tampa area to see the massive flag — 30 feet high and 50 feet long — atop a 139-foot pole, the highest the Federal Aviation Authority would allow. It would be lit at night.
Read rest of the travesty... er ... article here
MORE FLORIDA GOODNESS
So, you may wonder why I smash on the Sunshine State. After all it is my native land. Yup, I was born in Miami.
Well, other than the fact that I blame Florida for giving us the neverending horrorshow that is George W. Bush, they are place that profoundly baffles and disturbs me. Is it the endless strip malls? Substandard housing that gets creamed by hurricanes over and over again? Independent state of Disney? Bizarre police-state communities that enforce lawn lengths, house colors and prohibit children? --Which is not only evil in my book but flies in the face of what America stands for.
Well, yeah, I guess it could be those things. But mostly it's that they generate so much f*#cked up news.
Enjoy this new classic...
Florida mother jailed for caging son
So, you may wonder why I smash on the Sunshine State. After all it is my native land. Yup, I was born in Miami.
Well, other than the fact that I blame Florida for giving us the neverending horrorshow that is George W. Bush, they are place that profoundly baffles and disturbs me. Is it the endless strip malls? Substandard housing that gets creamed by hurricanes over and over again? Independent state of Disney? Bizarre police-state communities that enforce lawn lengths, house colors and prohibit children? --Which is not only evil in my book but flies in the face of what America stands for.
Well, yeah, I guess it could be those things. But mostly it's that they generate so much f*#cked up news.
Enjoy this new classic...
Florida mother jailed for caging son
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
Monday, May 26, 2008
BETTER THAN THE MOVIE
So, if you haven't seen the new Indiana Jones movie, don't bother. It's a big disappointment. Cate Blanchett does Natasha from Bullwinkle. Space aliens show up at the end and Indiana is basically a crotchety old guy with super human strength. Kinda sucko. You can read my too generous review below (for some reason the Metro Times hasn't posted on their site yet).
Anyway, by way of buddy Jeff S comes this far more amusing installment to the Indiana Jones saga. Check it out...
My review for Detroit's Metro Times.
Indiana Jones And The Kingdom Of The Crystal Skull
B-
Over-stuffed yet under-cooked, the fourth installment in the Indiana Jones serial, which began 28 years ago, suffers from too many ideas and not enough focus. If David Koepp's inelegantly pulpy patchwork of a half dozen other screenplays (written by the likes of Frank Darabont and Jeb Stuart, no less) were helmed by anyone other than Steven Spielberg, the movie would be a disastrous mess. As it is, it's a fitfully entertaining but entirely unnecessary addition to the canon.
Much like Spielberg's work on The Lost World (the clunky Jurassic Park sequel), Indiana Jones And The Kingdom Of The Crystal Skull has moments of verve and panache but is ultimately undone by too many explanations and endless allusions to the previous films. The cinematic Easter eggs will, no doubt, keep salivating fanboys happy, but Koepp and Spielberg have unintentionally created a meta-film of sorts; one that pays homage to films that were themselves an homage to cliffhangers of a bygone era.
Dropping us right into the action, Crystal Skull opens with Dr. Jones (Harrision Ford, of course) and his triple crossing cohort Mac (Ray Winstone) dragged by Irina Spalko (Cate Blanchett channeling Bullwinkle's Natasha) and platoon of Ruskies into an Area 51 warehouse. They are searching for a mummy. Why? Well, that's never really clear but after a daring escape, Dr. Jones falls in with teenaged Mutt Williams (Shia LaBeouf) in his search to find a colleague who went missing while seeking El Dorado, the lost Mayan city of gold. Only he's really looking for an alien crystal skull, see? And Mutt is Marion Ravenwood's (Karen Allen from the first film) kid. Which mean, he's Indy's kid. And there's lots and lots of talk about hieroglyphics and past events and former colleagues and all sorts of stuff we don't care about. It all culminates in a poorly structured final act that involves aliens or inter-dimensional travelers or, well, it doesn't matter. The climax completely melts down and becomes an excuse to throw some CGI effects at the screen.
Simply said, Kingdom Of The Crystal Skull can't justify its existence. Just as giving Indy a Dad didn't make Indiana Jones And The Last Crusade any better, giving him a son seems like a concept in search of a movie. In fact, the two films both trade character development and ingenuity for exposition-heavy narrative and over-the-top but passionless action. Which isn't to say they're bad films. Just that they fail to meet expectations.
On some level Spielberg seems to acknowledge this and tries to keep Crystal Skull barreling along. Every time things gets bogged down in meaningless talk… which it does often… he compensates with a ridiculously extended action scene. They may not have the grandeur and go-for-broke invention of the first two Indiana Jones films but they're crisply directed and mostly fun (despite some piss-poor CGI). Even at his worst, Spielberg knows how to keep an out-of-control action piece structured and fast-paced. The film's best is a wild motorcycle chase around Yale's campus.
Still, for all his skill, Spielberg is unable to capture the sense of awe, surprise and danger of his earliest films. Part of the problem is Indy himself. No longer a cocky artifact hunter who has to use his wits and willpower to get out of situations he mostly gets himself into, the aging Dr. Jones is now a humorless grump with the physicality of a 30 year-old superman. His acts of derring-do are so painless and his triumphs so assured, the film never creates any drama.
To Harrison Ford's credit, at the very least, he seems engaged. After phoning in performances for the last decade he manages to bring his…well, not A-Game but, at least, a solid B to Indy's world-weary tough-guy persona. Unfortunately, Koepp is unable to give him a single winning line of dialogue. The guy's got nothing to work with.
Which is exactly what undermines the talented LaBeouf, neuters Blanchett's villainess and puts the usually terrific Ray Winstone on the sidelines. The return of Karen Allen's character is one of the film's few treats. She and Ford briefly connect but are quickly split apart by Koepp's pointlessly busy script. It makes you wonder why Spielberg bothered to hire such an accomplished (and no doubt expensive) cast if he was only going to waste them.
Of course, comparing this fourth sequel to Raiders Of The Lost Ark –arguably the greatest action-adventure flick of all time—isn't really fair. But you'd hope that after a nearly two-decade break; George Lucas and Spielberg would have a few new ideas to add to mix. Unfortunately, the best they can come up with is a competent but half-hearted rehash. It's like that hum-able song you've heard thousands of times on the radio but haven't grown to hate. Entertaining but, ultimately, irrelevant.
So, if you haven't seen the new Indiana Jones movie, don't bother. It's a big disappointment. Cate Blanchett does Natasha from Bullwinkle. Space aliens show up at the end and Indiana is basically a crotchety old guy with super human strength. Kinda sucko. You can read my too generous review below (for some reason the Metro Times hasn't posted on their site yet).
Anyway, by way of buddy Jeff S comes this far more amusing installment to the Indiana Jones saga. Check it out...
My review for Detroit's Metro Times.
Indiana Jones And The Kingdom Of The Crystal Skull
B-
Over-stuffed yet under-cooked, the fourth installment in the Indiana Jones serial, which began 28 years ago, suffers from too many ideas and not enough focus. If David Koepp's inelegantly pulpy patchwork of a half dozen other screenplays (written by the likes of Frank Darabont and Jeb Stuart, no less) were helmed by anyone other than Steven Spielberg, the movie would be a disastrous mess. As it is, it's a fitfully entertaining but entirely unnecessary addition to the canon.
Much like Spielberg's work on The Lost World (the clunky Jurassic Park sequel), Indiana Jones And The Kingdom Of The Crystal Skull has moments of verve and panache but is ultimately undone by too many explanations and endless allusions to the previous films. The cinematic Easter eggs will, no doubt, keep salivating fanboys happy, but Koepp and Spielberg have unintentionally created a meta-film of sorts; one that pays homage to films that were themselves an homage to cliffhangers of a bygone era.
Dropping us right into the action, Crystal Skull opens with Dr. Jones (Harrision Ford, of course) and his triple crossing cohort Mac (Ray Winstone) dragged by Irina Spalko (Cate Blanchett channeling Bullwinkle's Natasha) and platoon of Ruskies into an Area 51 warehouse. They are searching for a mummy. Why? Well, that's never really clear but after a daring escape, Dr. Jones falls in with teenaged Mutt Williams (Shia LaBeouf) in his search to find a colleague who went missing while seeking El Dorado, the lost Mayan city of gold. Only he's really looking for an alien crystal skull, see? And Mutt is Marion Ravenwood's (Karen Allen from the first film) kid. Which mean, he's Indy's kid. And there's lots and lots of talk about hieroglyphics and past events and former colleagues and all sorts of stuff we don't care about. It all culminates in a poorly structured final act that involves aliens or inter-dimensional travelers or, well, it doesn't matter. The climax completely melts down and becomes an excuse to throw some CGI effects at the screen.
Simply said, Kingdom Of The Crystal Skull can't justify its existence. Just as giving Indy a Dad didn't make Indiana Jones And The Last Crusade any better, giving him a son seems like a concept in search of a movie. In fact, the two films both trade character development and ingenuity for exposition-heavy narrative and over-the-top but passionless action. Which isn't to say they're bad films. Just that they fail to meet expectations.
On some level Spielberg seems to acknowledge this and tries to keep Crystal Skull barreling along. Every time things gets bogged down in meaningless talk… which it does often… he compensates with a ridiculously extended action scene. They may not have the grandeur and go-for-broke invention of the first two Indiana Jones films but they're crisply directed and mostly fun (despite some piss-poor CGI). Even at his worst, Spielberg knows how to keep an out-of-control action piece structured and fast-paced. The film's best is a wild motorcycle chase around Yale's campus.
Still, for all his skill, Spielberg is unable to capture the sense of awe, surprise and danger of his earliest films. Part of the problem is Indy himself. No longer a cocky artifact hunter who has to use his wits and willpower to get out of situations he mostly gets himself into, the aging Dr. Jones is now a humorless grump with the physicality of a 30 year-old superman. His acts of derring-do are so painless and his triumphs so assured, the film never creates any drama.
To Harrison Ford's credit, at the very least, he seems engaged. After phoning in performances for the last decade he manages to bring his…well, not A-Game but, at least, a solid B to Indy's world-weary tough-guy persona. Unfortunately, Koepp is unable to give him a single winning line of dialogue. The guy's got nothing to work with.
Which is exactly what undermines the talented LaBeouf, neuters Blanchett's villainess and puts the usually terrific Ray Winstone on the sidelines. The return of Karen Allen's character is one of the film's few treats. She and Ford briefly connect but are quickly split apart by Koepp's pointlessly busy script. It makes you wonder why Spielberg bothered to hire such an accomplished (and no doubt expensive) cast if he was only going to waste them.
Of course, comparing this fourth sequel to Raiders Of The Lost Ark –arguably the greatest action-adventure flick of all time—isn't really fair. But you'd hope that after a nearly two-decade break; George Lucas and Spielberg would have a few new ideas to add to mix. Unfortunately, the best they can come up with is a competent but half-hearted rehash. It's like that hum-able song you've heard thousands of times on the radio but haven't grown to hate. Entertaining but, ultimately, irrelevant.
Saturday, May 24, 2008
YUP, IT'S FLORIDA
Not too long ago I linked to a story where a Florida teacher was accused of "wizardry" and fired for doing some sleight of hand.
Here, they've decided to censor the art work of a high school student becasue... aw, just read the damn article.
Not too long ago I linked to a story where a Florida teacher was accused of "wizardry" and fired for doing some sleight of hand.
Here, they've decided to censor the art work of a high school student becasue... aw, just read the damn article.
VEGAN POTLUCKS = TERRORIST CELLS
In preparation for the Republican National Convention, the FBI is soliciting informants to keep tabs on local protest groups. First clue that something's amiss? They serve nutloaf.
Read about it here.
In preparation for the Republican National Convention, the FBI is soliciting informants to keep tabs on local protest groups. First clue that something's amiss? They serve nutloaf.
Read about it here.
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